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init
2026-06-17 23:11:20 -04:00
1
00:00:01,968 --> 00:00:05,105
(<i> mystical theme playing</i> )
2
00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:11,778
{\an8}(<i> Imam praying</i> )
3
00:00:41,574 --> 00:00:44,310
( people chattering
indistinctly )
4
00:00:48,748 --> 00:00:50,216
Listen to me!
5
00:00:50,283 --> 00:00:53,386
Killing a few hostages
is not sufficient.
6
00:00:53,453 --> 00:00:56,289
The Americans
must be made to suffer.
7
00:00:56,356 --> 00:00:58,057
We must humiliate them!
8
00:00:58,124 --> 00:01:01,127
You do not go far enough,
General Amin.
9
00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:03,062
We must rip
their entrails out
10
00:01:03,129 --> 00:01:04,898
and drag them
from here to Damascus
11
00:01:04,964 --> 00:01:07,734
until they include us
in the peace process.
12
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:09,869
No! Nonsense!
13
00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:13,573
This solution
is not bold enough for Libya.
14
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:17,610
I say wipe out Washington
and New York.
15
00:01:17,677 --> 00:01:21,681
What? And spoil three years
of good public relations!
16
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,884
I have the Americans
believing I am a nice guy.
17
00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:26,286
In some of their polls,
18
00:01:26,352 --> 00:01:28,621
I am more popular
than their president.
19
00:01:28,688 --> 00:01:30,857
( all chattering )
20
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:33,893
Gentlemen! Gentlemen!
21
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:36,062
This is getting us
nowhere.
22
00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:39,065
If we do nothing else
this week,
23
00:01:39,132 --> 00:01:43,403
we must conceive
at least one terrorist act
24
00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:45,972
that will show all the world
25
00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:49,342
that the United States,
the great satan,
26
00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:51,344
is but a paper tiger,
27
00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:54,481
a weak nation of weak people!
28
00:01:54,547 --> 00:01:57,517
A people ripe for destruction!
29
00:01:57,584 --> 00:02:00,987
Cowards, no longer
willing to fight!
30
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:03,022
{\an8}( heat hissing )
Argh!
31
00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:04,657
( gasping )
32
00:02:04,724 --> 00:02:07,694
(<i> dramatic theme playing</i> )
33
00:02:20,039 --> 00:02:22,008
( squeaking )
34
00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:23,643
I knew it!
35
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:28,281
( ululates )
36
00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:30,717
MAN:
Get the American!
37
00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:47,767
( screams )
38
00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:58,311
Ooh-ow!
39
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,582
MAN:
Hey, who are you?
40
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:05,418
I'm Lieutenant Frank Drebin,
police squad.
41
00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:10,323
And don't ever let me catch
you guys in America. Oh!
42
00:03:11,057 --> 00:03:13,860
(<i> Frank yells</i> )
43
00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:16,229
( siren wailing )
44
00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:19,532
(<i> jazzy theme playing</i> )
45
00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:37,283
Hey!
46
00:03:37,350 --> 00:03:39,752
Oh! Watch out! Whoa!
47
00:03:39,819 --> 00:03:41,521
Watch out!
48
00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:44,524
( tires squealing )
49
00:04:27,233 --> 00:04:29,035
( all screaming )
50
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,516
( people screaming )
51
00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,932
( service bell dings )
52
00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:12,745
(<i> suspenseful theme playing</i> )
53
00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:44,844
MAN 1 ( on listening device ):
<i>Thirty-eight, 39, 40.</i> <i>It's all here.</i>
54
00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:47,380
MAN 2:
<i>This completes our first</i> <i>shipment of heroin--</i>
55
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:49,115
<i>One hundred percent pure.</i>
56
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:52,285
MAN 3:
<i>Yeah, it better be,</i> <i>all 40 kilos.</i>
57
00:05:52,351 --> 00:05:55,054
MAN 2:
<i>Final shipment will be</i> <i>delivered in three days.</i>
58
00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:57,056
<i>Then we'll expect payment.</i>
59
00:05:57,123 --> 00:05:58,891
MAN 3:
<i>Don't worry.</i>
60
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:10,069
(<i> suspenseful theme swelling</i> )
61
00:06:26,819 --> 00:06:30,022
Police!
Throw down your guns!
62
00:06:36,662 --> 00:06:38,798
( door opens )
63
00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:46,472
(<i> ominous theme playing</i> )
64
00:06:52,478 --> 00:06:53,913
Kill him.
65
00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:01,020
Agh!
66
00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:03,890
( sizzling )
Aah!
67
00:07:06,058 --> 00:07:07,193
Oh, no!
68
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,499
Aah!
69
00:07:19,338 --> 00:07:20,873
Aah!
70
00:07:24,076 --> 00:07:25,812
Aah!
71
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,697
REPORTER:
It's a great day for Americans everywhere.
72
00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:46,332
This man is loved...
73
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:47,900
( people chattering )
74
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:49,635
Look! I think
that's his plane!
75
00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:51,704
( women squealing )
76
00:07:51,771 --> 00:07:53,973
He takes
a typical airline dinner.
77
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:57,610
There he is!
78
00:07:57,677 --> 00:07:58,845
( women squealing )
79
00:07:58,911 --> 00:08:00,513
No, no flowers,
thank you.
80
00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:03,049
Welcome home, Frank.
Good work in Beirut.
81
00:08:03,115 --> 00:08:05,117
We all heard what you did.
Thank you, Ed.
82
00:08:05,184 --> 00:08:06,719
I just want to know one thing.
83
00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:08,821
Is it true what you
wrote me about Victoria?
84
00:08:08,888 --> 00:08:10,256
I'm afraid so,
Frank.
85
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,225
She just ran off
with some guy.
86
00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:14,894
They got married
last week.
87
00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:19,131
Then it's over. It's all over.
All of this is meaningless.
88
00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:20,233
I did it for her.
89
00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:22,134
I did everything for her,
90
00:08:22,201 --> 00:08:23,970
and now she's gone.
91
00:08:24,036 --> 00:08:28,441
And you, you came down here to
get the hot story, didn't you?
92
00:08:28,507 --> 00:08:30,776
Pictures of me to sell
your lousy newspapers.
93
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:33,079
Uh, Frank--
Sure, you think I'm a big hero.
94
00:08:33,145 --> 00:08:34,647
The man of the hour.
95
00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:36,482
Well,
do any of you understand
96
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:39,418
how a man can hurt inside?
97
00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:40,419
Frank, Frank--
98
00:08:40,486 --> 00:08:42,021
They're not here
for you.
99
00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:44,257
Weird Al Yankovic
is on the plane.
100
00:08:44,323 --> 00:08:46,225
( women squealing )
101
00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:52,064
What about the wedding?
What was she wearing?
102
00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:54,033
Don't torture yourself,
Frank.
103
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:55,835
Just put her
out of your mind.
104
00:08:55,902 --> 00:08:58,404
I can't get her
out of my mind.
105
00:08:58,471 --> 00:08:59,939
What about the guy?
106
00:09:00,006 --> 00:09:01,440
You know anything
about him?
107
00:09:01,507 --> 00:09:02,775
Not much.
108
00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:04,610
Just that he's
an Olympic gymnast,
109
00:09:04,677 --> 00:09:07,446
and it's the best sex
she's ever had.
110
00:09:07,513 --> 00:09:09,048
( metal crunches )
111
00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:10,683
I trusted her,
112
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:13,719
followed my heart,
foolishly, it seems.
113
00:09:13,786 --> 00:09:15,955
Just gonna have
to learn to forget.
114
00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:18,391
That's why I took my
vacation in Beirut,
115
00:09:18,457 --> 00:09:19,592
to get her
out of my mind,
116
00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:21,894
to find some peace.
117
00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:23,629
It's not going
to be easy.
118
00:09:23,696 --> 00:09:24,964
Everywhere I look,
119
00:09:25,031 --> 00:09:27,233
something reminds me
of her.
120
00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:32,505
Maybe it's just that cops
and women don't mix.
121
00:09:32,571 --> 00:09:34,340
What about Nordberg?
122
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:35,841
I came as soon
as I heard.
123
00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:38,110
He's alive, Frank,
though he's on life support.
124
00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:41,714
Doctors say he's got
a 50-50 chance of living,
125
00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:44,917
though there's only
a 10 percent chance of that.
126
00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:54,060
( clanging )
127
00:09:58,497 --> 00:10:00,633
( monitors beeping )
128
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,708
Mrs. Nordberg,
129
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:11,510
I think we can save
your husband's arm.
130
00:10:11,577 --> 00:10:12,912
Where would you
like it sent?
131
00:10:12,979 --> 00:10:15,948
Oh, Frank, I'm so glad
you came.
132
00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:17,450
Wilma,
it's good to see you.
133
00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:18,651
I came
as soon as I heard.
134
00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:20,619
Thank you, Frank.
You bet.
135
00:10:20,686 --> 00:10:22,955
Where's Nordberg?
He's right here, Frank.
136
00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:24,056
Right.
137
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:27,326
Nordberg, it's me,
Frank, your buddy.
138
00:10:27,393 --> 00:10:28,894
Aah!
139
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:32,398
I'll get it.
Wait a minute.
140
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,633
Oh!
141
00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:36,836
Get the switch
on the bottom of the bed!
142
00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:41,440
( groaning )
143
00:10:41,507 --> 00:10:43,309
Nordberg?
144
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:44,677
It's me-- Frank.
145
00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:46,312
Now who did this
to you?
146
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,047
I...love you.
147
00:10:48,114 --> 00:10:51,150
I love you too,
Nordberg.
148
00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:53,085
Who were they?
149
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:54,820
Ship. Boat.
150
00:10:54,887 --> 00:10:56,856
That's right,
Nordberg, a boat.
151
00:10:56,922 --> 00:10:58,057
When you're better,
152
00:10:58,124 --> 00:10:59,759
we'll go sailing
together on a boat.
153
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:01,327
We'll take a cruise
just like last year.
154
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:03,195
No. Drugs.
155
00:11:03,262 --> 00:11:05,865
Hey, nurse, give
this man some drugs.
156
00:11:05,931 --> 00:11:07,366
Quick! Can't you see
he's in pain?
157
00:11:07,433 --> 00:11:11,070
Give him a shot. Quickly.
No. No. Heroin!
158
00:11:11,137 --> 00:11:12,972
Heroin, Frank!
159
00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:15,541
Nordberg,
that's a pretty tall order.
160
00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:18,444
You're gonna have to give me
a couple of days on that one.
161
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,613
( Wilma sobbing )
162
00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:22,915
Oh, oh,
my poor Nordberg.
163
00:11:22,982 --> 00:11:25,251
He was such a good man,
Frank.
164
00:11:25,317 --> 00:11:27,620
He never wanted
to hurt anyone.
165
00:11:27,686 --> 00:11:30,423
Who would do
such a thing?
166
00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:32,024
Well, it's hard to tell.
167
00:11:32,091 --> 00:11:33,993
Could be a roving
gang of thugs,
168
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:36,128
a blackmailer,
an angry husband,
169
00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:37,463
a gay lover.
170
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:40,132
( Wilma wails )
Frank, get a hold of yourself.
171
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,601
A good cop...
172
00:11:42,668 --> 00:11:44,570
Needlessly cut down
and ambushed
173
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:46,472
by some cowardly
hoodlum.
174
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,174
That's no way for a man to die.
175
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:50,076
FRANK:
Yeah, you're right, Ed.
176
00:11:50,142 --> 00:11:53,145
A parachute not opening--
That's a way to die.
177
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:55,881
Getting caught in
the gears of a combine,
178
00:11:55,948 --> 00:11:58,050
having your nuts bit off
by a Laplander--
179
00:11:58,117 --> 00:11:59,685
That's the way I wanna go.
180
00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:01,554
( Wilma sobbing )
181
00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:03,322
Oh, Frank!
182
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,291
Oh! This is terrible!
183
00:12:05,357 --> 00:12:06,725
Don't you worry, Wilma.
184
00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,594
Your husband is going
to be all right.
185
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:10,629
Don't you worry
about anything.
186
00:12:10,696 --> 00:12:12,598
Just think positive.
187
00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:15,568
Never let a doubt
enter your mind.
188
00:12:15,634 --> 00:12:16,969
He's right, Wilma,
189
00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:18,838
but I wouldn't wait
until the last minute
190
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:20,539
to fill out
those organ donor cards.
191
00:12:20,606 --> 00:12:22,608
( Wilma sobbing )
192
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:24,743
What I'm trying
to say is that, Wilma,
193
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:26,679
as soon as Nordberg
is better,
194
00:12:26,745 --> 00:12:28,848
he's welcome back
at police squad.
195
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:30,916
Unless he's a drooling
vegetable.
196
00:12:30,983 --> 00:12:32,651
But I think
that's only common sense.
197
00:12:32,718 --> 00:12:35,921
( wails )
198
00:12:35,988 --> 00:12:38,124
Wilma, can you think
of any reason
199
00:12:38,190 --> 00:12:40,459
that Nordberg was at
the waterfront last night?
200
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,062
No...
201
00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:46,665
But I found this
at home...
202
00:12:46,732 --> 00:12:48,601
in a drawer.
203
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:50,035
A photograph.
204
00:12:51,003 --> 00:12:54,540
<i>I Luv You,</i>
out of Caracas.
205
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:57,176
A Panamanian ship.
206
00:12:57,243 --> 00:12:59,345
Frank, when Nordberg
said "I love you,"
207
00:12:59,411 --> 00:13:01,914
he was telling you
the name of the ship.
208
00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:03,449
I realize that...
209
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:05,417
now.
210
00:13:05,484 --> 00:13:07,019
We'd better check this out.
211
00:13:07,086 --> 00:13:08,954
I want every available
man on this.
212
00:13:09,021 --> 00:13:10,923
I can't spare
anybody, Frank.
213
00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:12,424
You know we're in charge
of security
214
00:13:12,491 --> 00:13:15,294
for Queen Elizabeth's visit.
I'm short-handed already.
215
00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:17,963
Wilma, I promise you,
whatever scum did this,
216
00:13:18,030 --> 00:13:19,765
not one man
on this force will rest
217
00:13:19,832 --> 00:13:21,867
for one minute
until he's behind bars.
218
00:13:21,934 --> 00:13:23,102
Now let's grab
a bite to eat.
219
00:13:23,169 --> 00:13:24,403
Yeah, come on,
Wilma.
220
00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:30,676
...that due to
the extraordinary efforts
221
00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:33,145
of some
of our civic leaders,
222
00:13:33,212 --> 00:13:37,483
Queen Elizabeth has included
the city of Los Angeles
223
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,652
as one of the three cities
she will visit
224
00:13:39,718 --> 00:13:41,220
during her American tour.
225
00:13:43,255 --> 00:13:45,191
Mayor Barkley,
will the city hire additional
226
00:13:45,257 --> 00:13:46,959
security officers
for the police force
227
00:13:47,026 --> 00:13:48,127
during the Queen's
visit?
228
00:13:48,194 --> 00:13:51,063
We have placed
the Queen's security
229
00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:53,132
in the hands
of police squad,
230
00:13:53,199 --> 00:13:55,701
a special division
of the police department,
231
00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:59,838
represented here today
by Lieutenant Frank Drebin.
232
00:13:59,905 --> 00:14:02,241
( applause )
233
00:14:03,909 --> 00:14:05,878
Thank you, Your Honor.
234
00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:07,413
Protecting
the safety of...
235
00:14:07,479 --> 00:14:08,747
Louder!
236
00:14:08,814 --> 00:14:10,516
( microphone static crackles )
237
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:13,285
Here, you can use my radio mic.
238
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:14,353
Thank you.
239
00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:18,657
( coughs )
240
00:14:18,724 --> 00:14:19,959
( snorts )
241
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:21,961
Thank you, Your Honor.
242
00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,997
Protecting the safety
of the Queen is a task
243
00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:28,300
that's gladly accepted
by police squad,
244
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,736
for no matter
how silly the idea
245
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:32,871
of having a queen
might be to us,
246
00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:35,074
as Americans,
we must be gracious
247
00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:36,942
and considerate hosts.
248
00:14:37,009 --> 00:14:39,345
( applause )
249
00:14:39,411 --> 00:14:42,014
Thank you,
Lieutenant Drebin.
250
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:45,551
Of course,
we all have a stake
251
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:47,086
in seeing that this portion
252
00:14:47,152 --> 00:14:49,822
of the Queen's
American goodwill tour
253
00:14:49,888 --> 00:14:51,957
is completed successfully,
254
00:14:52,024 --> 00:14:54,927
and we can all take pride that
the Queen has chosen
255
00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:56,795
our city--
(<i> zipper unzips</i> )
256
00:14:56,862 --> 00:14:58,731
(<i> urine splashing</i> )
257
00:14:58,797 --> 00:15:00,966
(<i> Frank grunting and sighing</i> )
258
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:05,237
Indeed, it-it is
for all the people...
259
00:15:05,304 --> 00:15:07,973
(<i> urinating continues</i> ) ...who will be able to share
(<i> urinating continues</i> ) ...who will be able to share
260
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,075
in the, uh, celebration...
261
00:15:10,142 --> 00:15:12,044
(<i> Frank grunts</i> )
262
00:15:12,111 --> 00:15:13,545
Especially...
263
00:15:13,612 --> 00:15:15,514
(<i> Frank humming</i> )
264
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:21,353
will be the Queen's...
public appearances.
265
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:23,889
(<i> humming and urinating</i> )
266
00:15:23,956 --> 00:15:26,025
<i>♪ River... ♪</i>
267
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:28,294
<i>♪ La-da-dum ♪</i>
268
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,496
♪ Hmm-hmm-mmph ♪ ( splashing )
♪ Hmm-hmm-mmph ♪ ( splashing )
269
00:15:30,562 --> 00:15:33,032
( dripping )
270
00:15:36,535 --> 00:15:39,071
(<i> dripping stops</i> )
Um, we also would like--
271
00:15:39,138 --> 00:15:41,006
(<i> loud splashing,</i>
<i>humming</i> )
272
00:15:41,073 --> 00:15:42,841
(<i> whistling</i> )
273
00:15:42,908 --> 00:15:44,143
(<i> heavy splashing</i> )
274
00:15:44,209 --> 00:15:46,378
(<i> splattering</i> )
FRANK:<i> Whoops!</i>
275
00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,080
<i>Uh-oh.</i>
276
00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:50,949
( grunting )
277
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:52,985
(<i> farting</i> )
278
00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:54,520
( Frank singing )
279
00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:58,257
(<i> jazzy theme playing</i> )
280
00:15:58,324 --> 00:16:00,059
FRANK:
<i>Ed and I</i> <i>drove down to the docks</i>
281
00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,460
<i>where Nordberg</i>
<i>had been found</i>
282
00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:03,095
<i>floating face-down</i>
<i>in the water.</i>
283
00:16:03,162 --> 00:16:04,930
<i>In a case where</i>
<i>there are no leads,</i>
284
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:06,365
<i>you have to start somewhere,</i>
285
00:16:06,432 --> 00:16:08,233
<i>and that somewhere</i>
<i>was the harbor area.</i>
286
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,102
OFFICER ( on bullhorn ):
Please disperse.
287
00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:12,037
Please disperse.
288
00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:14,573
There's nothing
for you to see here.
289
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,175
Keep moving.
290
00:16:16,241 --> 00:16:17,676
Where'd they find
Nordberg at?
291
00:16:17,743 --> 00:16:20,312
Right out there, Frank.
You want to take a dinghy?
292
00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:22,915
No, no, I took care of that
at the press conference.
293
00:16:22,981 --> 00:16:24,717
It doesn't make sense, you know.
294
00:16:24,783 --> 00:16:26,385
Good policeman,
bright future--
295
00:16:26,452 --> 00:16:29,221
Something like this
happens.
296
00:16:29,288 --> 00:16:31,056
He was found
by the night watchman.
297
00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:32,491
We better do some
checking around.
298
00:16:32,558 --> 00:16:34,226
I'm gonna talk
to the harbormaster.
299
00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:36,462
I'll walk around the docks,
take a snoop.
300
00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:42,868
Yeah?
301
00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:44,770
Lieutenant Drebin,
police squad.
302
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:48,407
Oh, I remember you, Drebin.
What do you want?
303
00:16:48,474 --> 00:16:50,242
I wanna ask you
some questions.
304
00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:52,111
Are you familiar
with that face?
305
00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:54,913
I don't know.
My memory ain't so great.
306
00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:56,615
Oh, yeah?
307
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,317
Maybe this'll
refresh your memory.
308
00:16:58,384 --> 00:17:00,018
I don't know,
it's still kinda hazy.
309
00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:01,754
How about this?
Yeah, I remember him.
310
00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:03,055
Why do you wanna know?
311
00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:04,857
I can't tell you that.
312
00:17:04,923 --> 00:17:06,558
Well, maybe this'll help.
313
00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:08,260
I really don't think
I should.
314
00:17:08,327 --> 00:17:10,429
Yeah, you still
don't think so?
315
00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:12,398
All right, his name
is Nordberg. He's a cop.
316
00:17:12,464 --> 00:17:14,099
He was no cop,
he was dealin' H.
317
00:17:14,166 --> 00:17:15,801
What?!
I'm tellin' you, he was dirty.
318
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,302
Oh, you sniveling scum.
319
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:18,904
I oughta run you in
right now.
320
00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:20,572
All right,
he worked at Ludwig Shipping.
321
00:17:20,639 --> 00:17:22,408
He tried to push something
on one of my boys, I swear it.
322
00:17:22,474 --> 00:17:24,209
What are you gonna do
about it, copper?
323
00:17:24,276 --> 00:17:25,577
Why should I tell you?
324
00:17:25,644 --> 00:17:27,079
Maybe this'll help.
325
00:17:27,146 --> 00:17:29,048
I still don't think
I should tell you.
326
00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:31,517
Can you spot me a 20?
How about now?
327
00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:33,519
All right. I'm going
down to Ludwig's office.
328
00:17:33,585 --> 00:17:36,488
I'll find out
if you're telling the truth.
329
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:38,624
(<i> jazzy theme playing</i> )
330
00:17:38,690 --> 00:17:40,359
FRANK:
<i>Vincent Ludwig</i> <i>presided over</i>
331
00:17:40,426 --> 00:17:42,327
<i>one of the largest</i>
<i>corporations in the city.</i>
332
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:44,463
<i>A respected businessman</i>
<i>and civic leader,</i>
333
00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:46,465
<i>the mayor had chosen him</i>
<i>to be the chairman</i>
334
00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:48,367
<i>of the Queen's</i>
<i>reception committee,</i>
335
00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:50,302
<i>and now I was getting ready</i>
<i>to question him</i>
336
00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:51,937
<i>about drugs</i>
<i>and attempted murder</i>
337
00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:53,405
<i>on his own docks.</i>
338
00:17:58,177 --> 00:17:59,812
Mr. Ludwig?
339
00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:02,047
Yes?
340
00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:04,183
Lieutenant Drebin
to see you, sir.
341
00:18:06,985 --> 00:18:08,487
Show him in.
342
00:18:13,992 --> 00:18:14,927
Lieutenant.
343
00:18:14,993 --> 00:18:16,762
The feeling is mutual.
344
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:18,964
Nice to meet you too.
345
00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:20,933
Uh, Cuban?
346
00:18:20,999 --> 00:18:22,568
Uh, no.
Dutch-Irish.
347
00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:24,570
My father
was from Wales.
348
00:18:24,636 --> 00:18:25,637
Oh.
349
00:18:25,704 --> 00:18:26,872
Uh, sit down.
350
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,241
A magnificent office
you have here, Mr. Ludwig.
351
00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:30,876
Thank you, thank you,
lieutenant.
352
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:33,245
Most of the objects
in this room I have collected
353
00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:35,347
over a period
of many years.
354
00:18:35,414 --> 00:18:37,883
A Gainsborough,
Ming vases...
355
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,551
Priceless.
356
00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:41,019
They are objects
357
00:18:41,086 --> 00:18:44,323
which I feel reflect
my personality,
358
00:18:44,389 --> 00:18:46,992
like the Japanese
fighting fish.
359
00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:49,328
Beautiful,
graceful, elegant,
360
00:18:49,394 --> 00:18:53,098
yet single-minded
of purpose
361
00:18:53,165 --> 00:18:56,401
and deadly when it finds
what it wants.
362
00:18:56,468 --> 00:19:01,840
This particular one
is valued at over $20,000.
363
00:19:01,907 --> 00:19:03,942
A luxury item,
to be certain,
364
00:19:04,009 --> 00:19:05,344
but as you can see,
365
00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:08,580
I am a man who appreciates
the finer things in life.
366
00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:10,215
Oh, this.
367
00:19:10,282 --> 00:19:12,384
This is a rare
samurai pen,
368
00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:15,354
a gift from
Emperor Hirohito.
369
00:19:15,420 --> 00:19:19,391
Unbreakable. Impervious
to everything but water.
370
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:22,227
Its value
is beyond estimation.
371
00:19:22,294 --> 00:19:24,096
That's fascinating.
372
00:19:24,162 --> 00:19:26,732
But I'm sure you didn't
pay me this visit
373
00:19:26,798 --> 00:19:29,601
to hear a lecture
on fine art, lieutenant.
374
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:31,670
To what do I owe
the honor?
375
00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:34,373
I'm investigating
the attempted murder
376
00:19:34,439 --> 00:19:36,375
of one
of your dockworkers,
377
00:19:36,441 --> 00:19:39,878
a man named Nordberg,
378
00:19:39,945 --> 00:19:41,847
a police officer.
379
00:19:43,782 --> 00:19:45,784
He's still alive, then?
380
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:47,753
He was shot six times.
381
00:19:47,819 --> 00:19:50,489
Fortunately, the bullets missed
every vital organ,
382
00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:53,158
and the salt water preserved him
until he was found.
383
00:19:53,225 --> 00:19:54,993
So they were able to--
384
00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:57,763
So they were able to get him
to the hospital in time?
385
00:19:57,829 --> 00:19:59,865
Yes. He's in
the intensive care ward
386
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:01,833
at Our Lady of the
Worthless Miracle.
387
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:05,337
Well, this certainly comes
as a shock to me, lieutenant.
388
00:20:05,404 --> 00:20:07,639
But as you know,
I am not the kind of man
389
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:09,374
who takes this type of thing
lightly.
390
00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:11,143
There is no room
in my organization...
391
00:20:11,209 --> 00:20:12,311
( snap ) ( yells softly )
( snap ) ( yells softly )
392
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:14,112
...for any type
of criminal activity.
393
00:20:14,179 --> 00:20:15,447
Look out there.
394
00:20:15,514 --> 00:20:19,184
A vast commercial
development built by me.
395
00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:20,719
Do you have any idea
396
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:22,821
what was out there
just five years ago?
397
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,222
Yah!
398
00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:26,758
You bet you do--
Orange groves,
399
00:20:26,825 --> 00:20:29,528
acres of them,
as far as the eye could see.
400
00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:31,029
But now, of course, that land
401
00:20:31,096 --> 00:20:32,598
is able to generate ten times
402
00:20:32,664 --> 00:20:34,333
the amount of profit
per square foot.
403
00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:36,101
( squelches )
404
00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:37,603
Are you all right,
lieutenant?
405
00:20:39,137 --> 00:20:41,406
Let me get you
some Kleenex.
406
00:20:41,473 --> 00:20:43,742
Has this officer--
407
00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:47,079
Uh, what's his name--
Nordberg?
408
00:20:47,145 --> 00:20:50,882
Been able to tell you
anything?
409
00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:52,117
Uh...
Well, of course,
410
00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:55,754
he hasn't been able
to tell us a thing so far,
411
00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:58,790
but as soon as he regains
consciousness...
412
00:20:58,857 --> 00:21:01,693
We'll see if he can
still play guitar.
413
00:21:02,794 --> 00:21:03,962
I beg your pardon?
414
00:21:04,029 --> 00:21:06,498
I've taken up too much
of your time already.
415
00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:08,867
I'd like to look
at your employment records now
416
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:10,569
and speak to someone
in personnel,
417
00:21:10,636 --> 00:21:12,004
if you don't mind,
of course.
418
00:21:12,070 --> 00:21:13,138
Of course.
419
00:21:13,205 --> 00:21:14,406
{\an8}( line buzzes )
Dominique,
420
00:21:14,473 --> 00:21:16,174
{\an8}will you please
send in Miss Spencer?
421
00:21:16,241 --> 00:21:17,476
{\an8}<i>Yes, sir.</i>
422
00:21:17,542 --> 00:21:19,277
As you know, I am quite busy
423
00:21:19,344 --> 00:21:20,979
making last-minute
arrangements
424
00:21:21,046 --> 00:21:22,648
for the royal visit.
425
00:21:22,714 --> 00:21:26,218
I'll have my assistant provide
you with anything you need.
426
00:21:26,284 --> 00:21:27,452
You've been
very cooperative.
427
00:21:27,519 --> 00:21:29,221
I'll make a note of that
in my report.
428
00:21:29,287 --> 00:21:30,589
My pleasure.
429
00:21:34,192 --> 00:21:35,394
Ah, Miss Spencer,
430
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:37,362
this is Lieutenant
Frank Drebin
431
00:21:37,429 --> 00:21:39,965
from police squad.
432
00:21:40,032 --> 00:21:43,068
Hello, Mr. Drebin.
433
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:45,003
Hello.
434
00:21:45,070 --> 00:21:47,606
(<i> jazzy theme playing</i> )
435
00:21:52,010 --> 00:21:53,345
Aah!
436
00:21:53,412 --> 00:21:55,947
( Jane thudding )
437
00:22:08,293 --> 00:22:09,628
FRANK:
<i>Her hair was the color</i>
438
00:22:09,695 --> 00:22:12,531
<i>of gold in old paintings.</i>
439
00:22:13,732 --> 00:22:16,268
<i>She had a full set</i>
<i>of curves</i>
440
00:22:16,334 --> 00:22:20,639
<i>and the kind of legs you'd</i>
<i>like to suck on for a day.</i>
441
00:22:22,207 --> 00:22:25,477
<i>She was giving me a look</i>
<i>I could feel in my hip pocket.</i>
442
00:22:27,145 --> 00:22:28,580
<i>Yep...</i>
443
00:22:28,647 --> 00:22:31,983
<i>This was starting</i>
<i>to get interesting.</i>
444
00:22:37,255 --> 00:22:39,191
Nice beaver.
445
00:22:39,257 --> 00:22:40,625
Thank you.
446
00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:42,094
I just had it stuffed.
447
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:43,995
Let me help you with that.
448
00:22:46,998 --> 00:22:49,501
This should be what you're
looking for, lieutenant--
449
00:22:49,568 --> 00:22:52,738
Shipping and employment
records for pier 32.
450
00:22:52,804 --> 00:22:53,872
Thank you.
451
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:57,609
I've heard police work
is dangerous.
452
00:22:57,676 --> 00:23:00,545
It is. That's why
I carry a big gun.
453
00:23:00,612 --> 00:23:03,482
Aren't you afraid
it might go off accidentally?
454
00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:05,951
I used to have that problem.
455
00:23:06,017 --> 00:23:07,686
What did you do about it?
456
00:23:07,753 --> 00:23:09,154
I just think about baseball.
457
00:23:12,023 --> 00:23:14,559
Hey, that's a honey of an ankle
bracelet you have there.
458
00:23:14,626 --> 00:23:17,529
Oh, did it slip
down there again?
459
00:23:18,563 --> 00:23:19,698
Yes, well...
460
00:23:19,765 --> 00:23:21,767
I'll go through this
as fast as I can
461
00:23:21,833 --> 00:23:23,602
and get them back to you
tomorrow maybe.
462
00:23:23,668 --> 00:23:26,471
That would be fine...
But there's no rush.
463
00:23:26,538 --> 00:23:28,406
I mean, whenever you're through.
464
00:23:28,473 --> 00:23:29,841
Thank you.
465
00:23:29,908 --> 00:23:32,477
I wish there was some way
I could repay you. Uh...
466
00:23:32,544 --> 00:23:33,779
How about dinner?
467
00:23:33,845 --> 00:23:34,946
I know this little
out-of-the-way place
468
00:23:35,013 --> 00:23:37,649
that serves
great Viking food.
469
00:23:37,716 --> 00:23:39,951
That's quite a tempting offer,
lieutenant,
470
00:23:40,018 --> 00:23:42,654
but I'm afraid I'm gonna have
to get my rest this evening,
471
00:23:42,721 --> 00:23:44,122
tomorrow being
Arbor Day and all.
472
00:23:44,189 --> 00:23:47,292
Oh, of course.
Well, perhaps some other time.
473
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:48,660
How about a rain check?
474
00:23:48,727 --> 00:23:50,829
Well, let's just
stick to dinner.
475
00:23:50,896 --> 00:23:53,865
Thank you for your help,
Miss Spencer.
476
00:23:56,101 --> 00:23:57,803
My pleasure.
477
00:23:57,869 --> 00:23:58,870
Well?
478
00:23:58,937 --> 00:24:01,907
Oh, Mr. Ludwig!
You startled me.
479
00:24:01,973 --> 00:24:03,842
I'm sorry, my dear.
480
00:24:03,909 --> 00:24:05,377
I just wanted to know
if you got
481
00:24:05,443 --> 00:24:06,878
the lieutenant
what he wanted.
482
00:24:06,945 --> 00:24:09,414
Yes, I gave him copies
of the files for pier 32.
483
00:24:09,481 --> 00:24:11,783
Good. That's good.
484
00:24:11,850 --> 00:24:14,286
He's an intriguing
fellow,
485
00:24:14,352 --> 00:24:15,887
this Lieutenant Drebin
486
00:24:15,954 --> 00:24:17,155
don't you think?
487
00:24:17,222 --> 00:24:19,457
Oh, well, I don't know.
488
00:24:19,524 --> 00:24:22,160
I've only just met him.
He seems very nice.
489
00:24:22,227 --> 00:24:25,831
Jane, I realize this
is an unusual request,
490
00:24:25,897 --> 00:24:28,266
but if there is
something illegal
491
00:24:28,333 --> 00:24:29,434
going on
in this company,
492
00:24:29,501 --> 00:24:30,869
I need to know
everything about it
493
00:24:30,936 --> 00:24:33,405
so we can root out
any wrongdoers.
494
00:24:33,471 --> 00:24:36,541
That's why
I want you to, well,
495
00:24:36,608 --> 00:24:39,778
to get to know Lieutenant Drebin
a little better,
496
00:24:39,845 --> 00:24:42,180
find out what he knows.
497
00:24:42,247 --> 00:24:43,448
Mr. Ludwig, don't you think
498
00:24:43,515 --> 00:24:44,916
this is best handled
by the police?
499
00:24:44,983 --> 00:24:47,886
But we are letting the police
handle it, my dear,
500
00:24:47,953 --> 00:24:51,089
but this company
needs to know the facts quickly
501
00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:53,491
before anything
gets into the newspapers.
502
00:24:53,558 --> 00:24:54,993
Don't forget,
503
00:24:55,060 --> 00:24:59,097
I have a responsibility
to the stockholders.
504
00:24:59,164 --> 00:25:02,467
Well... If you
put it that way, I mean, I--
505
00:25:02,534 --> 00:25:04,636
Yes, I'll do my best.
506
00:25:04,703 --> 00:25:06,538
That's better.
507
00:25:09,774 --> 00:25:11,543
I'm sure you will.
508
00:25:11,610 --> 00:25:13,745
(<i> suspenseful theme plays</i> )
509
00:25:13,812 --> 00:25:17,482
(<i> suspenseful theme</i>
<i>turns jazzy</i> )
510
00:25:17,549 --> 00:25:19,150
FRANK:
<i>It was about 4 p.m.</i>
511
00:25:19,217 --> 00:25:20,986
<i>when I returned</i>
<i>to police squad.</i>
512
00:25:22,420 --> 00:25:25,290
<i>I figured to stop by</i>
<i>and see what the lab boys</i>
513
00:25:25,357 --> 00:25:27,125
<i>had come up with</i>
<i>on Nordberg's jacket,</i>
514
00:25:27,192 --> 00:25:29,928
<i>the one they'd found</i>
<i>on the docks.</i>
515
00:25:29,995 --> 00:25:32,197
<i>You can tell a lot</i>
<i>from fiber samples</i>
516
00:25:32,264 --> 00:25:33,832
<i>if they aren't too wet,</i>
517
00:25:33,899 --> 00:25:36,568
<i>and I was hoping in this case</i>
<i>we wouldn't come up dry.</i>
518
00:25:36,635 --> 00:25:38,069
Hey, look out!
519
00:25:40,305 --> 00:25:42,073
Police! Halt!
520
00:25:43,642 --> 00:25:45,944
( screaming )
521
00:25:50,882 --> 00:25:53,618
Anybody catch
the license plate?
522
00:25:53,685 --> 00:25:56,021
Anybody get a look
at the driver?
523
00:25:56,087 --> 00:25:58,723
WOMAN:
Get out of the way!
524
00:26:00,158 --> 00:26:03,128
Uh, take the names of everybody
here for questioning.
525
00:26:03,194 --> 00:26:06,398
Uh, I got to get, uh...
526
00:26:06,464 --> 00:26:08,867
inside.
527
00:26:08,934 --> 00:26:10,669
MAN:
Did you see what happened?
528
00:26:14,339 --> 00:26:17,142
Hi, Ed, Ted, you got
those fiber samples?
529
00:26:17,208 --> 00:26:20,078
Shh, we got some action here. What's up?
Shh, we got some action here. What's up?
530
00:26:20,145 --> 00:26:22,447
TED:
We're testing that new anti-graffiti wall.
531
00:26:22,514 --> 00:26:24,482
FRANK:
Looks like we've got a few customers.
532
00:26:24,549 --> 00:26:26,818
It's set to react when the
spray hits the sensors.
533
00:26:26,885 --> 00:26:29,154
You guys are crazy...
534
00:26:29,220 --> 00:26:31,656
( all yelling )
535
00:26:31,723 --> 00:26:33,425
You've done it again.
Mazel tov.
536
00:26:33,491 --> 00:26:36,861
Good work, Ted. What will
you lab boys think up next?
537
00:26:36,928 --> 00:26:38,630
Now that you
mention it,
538
00:26:38,697 --> 00:26:41,700
here's something we developed
only yesterday.
539
00:26:41,766 --> 00:26:44,436
To the casual observer,
an ordinary shoe.
540
00:26:44,502 --> 00:26:47,205
But, in actuality...
541
00:26:47,272 --> 00:26:48,840
It makes
quite a handy weapon.
542
00:26:48,907 --> 00:26:52,477
And everything a cop
in the field would need.
543
00:26:52,544 --> 00:26:54,245
We call it
the Swiss Army shoe.
544
00:26:54,312 --> 00:26:56,982
That's great, Ted.
What about the fiber samples?
545
00:26:57,048 --> 00:26:59,050
Let me just show you
one more thing, Frank.
546
00:26:59,117 --> 00:27:01,486
Do you see these
cuff links I'm wearing?
547
00:27:01,553 --> 00:27:03,054
They're not
just cuff links.
548
00:27:03,121 --> 00:27:05,890
Each one fires
a single pin-sized dart
549
00:27:05,957 --> 00:27:07,959
that knocks out your victim
for a few minutes,
550
00:27:08,026 --> 00:27:09,694
but does no
permanent damage.
551
00:27:09,761 --> 00:27:11,796
Here, let me demonstrate on Ed.
Yeah?
552
00:27:13,164 --> 00:27:14,199
Ted...
553
00:27:15,934 --> 00:27:16,935
Why?
554
00:27:18,169 --> 00:27:21,039
Don't worry. He'll be up
and around in no time.
555
00:27:21,106 --> 00:27:23,108
Why don't you
take a pair, Frank?
556
00:27:23,174 --> 00:27:25,744
Well, actually I could use
another pair of cuff links.
557
00:27:25,810 --> 00:27:27,379
Good. I think
you'll like them.
558
00:27:27,445 --> 00:27:28,613
You want this, chief?
559
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:29,981
Yes, thank you, Al.
560
00:27:30,048 --> 00:27:33,018
You've got something
on the side of your mouth, Al.
561
00:27:33,084 --> 00:27:35,086
No, no,
the other side.
562
00:27:36,087 --> 00:27:37,522
As you requested,
Frank,
563
00:27:37,589 --> 00:27:40,959
we took some fiber samples
from Nordberg's jacket.
564
00:27:41,026 --> 00:27:43,361
I'm afraid
it doesn't look good.
565
00:27:43,428 --> 00:27:44,529
What do you mean?
566
00:27:44,596 --> 00:27:46,431
Take a look for yourself.
567
00:27:49,634 --> 00:27:50,769
I-I can't see anything.
568
00:27:50,835 --> 00:27:52,804
Use your open eye,
Frank.
569
00:27:54,372 --> 00:27:55,907
Oh, yeah, I can see it now.
570
00:27:55,974 --> 00:27:57,709
At first glance,
it would appear to be
571
00:27:57,776 --> 00:27:59,444
only the normal
cotton fibers.
572
00:27:59,511 --> 00:28:01,613
But when we focused in
closer we discovered
573
00:28:01,679 --> 00:28:03,715
a fine white powder.
( glass breaks )
574
00:28:03,782 --> 00:28:06,317
We tested it.
Pure heroin.
575
00:28:06,384 --> 00:28:08,386
How well do you know
Nordberg, Frank?
576
00:28:10,121 --> 00:28:13,324
We were partners for nine years,
and he's my best friend.
577
00:28:13,391 --> 00:28:15,026
I know, Frank,
but we can't allow
578
00:28:15,093 --> 00:28:16,995
personal feelings
to get in the way of duty.
579
00:28:17,062 --> 00:28:18,363
Are you saying
that Nordberg is--
580
00:28:18,430 --> 00:28:20,331
I'm telling you
the Queen arrives here
581
00:28:20,398 --> 00:28:21,699
the day after tomorrow.
582
00:28:21,766 --> 00:28:23,034
If the press
should pick this up
583
00:28:23,101 --> 00:28:24,602
with Nordberg
still part of the force,
584
00:28:24,669 --> 00:28:27,639
it could be embarrassing
to the police and the city.
585
00:28:27,705 --> 00:28:28,940
I'm sorry, Frank,
586
00:28:29,007 --> 00:28:31,109
I'm giving you 24 hours
to clear Nordberg.
587
00:28:31,176 --> 00:28:34,312
(<i> ominous theme playing</i> )
588
00:28:42,187 --> 00:28:43,755
Mr. Ludwig?
589
00:28:43,822 --> 00:28:44,756
Yes?
590
00:28:44,823 --> 00:28:47,392
A Mr. Pahpshmir is here.
591
00:28:47,459 --> 00:28:49,194
Show him in.
592
00:28:55,834 --> 00:28:58,069
Is there something wrong,
Mr. Ludwig?
593
00:28:59,604 --> 00:29:01,239
No, no, no.
It's nothing.
594
00:29:01,306 --> 00:29:02,941
Then may we get down
to business?
595
00:29:03,007 --> 00:29:05,310
Certainly.
Please have a seat.
596
00:29:05,376 --> 00:29:08,413
I can carry out
your request.
597
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,015
My price is $20 million.
598
00:29:11,082 --> 00:29:13,318
Price is not a problem.
599
00:29:14,552 --> 00:29:15,987
But there is some concern
600
00:29:16,054 --> 00:29:17,922
on the part of those
I represent
601
00:29:17,989 --> 00:29:21,493
that you would
be able to complete
602
00:29:21,559 --> 00:29:23,261
so difficult a task.
603
00:29:23,328 --> 00:29:24,963
( scoffs )
604
00:29:25,029 --> 00:29:27,265
Tell me, Mr. Pahpshmir,
605
00:29:27,332 --> 00:29:28,833
in all the world,
606
00:29:28,900 --> 00:29:31,469
who is the most
effective assassin?
607
00:29:32,770 --> 00:29:35,807
Well, I would think
anyone who manages
608
00:29:35,874 --> 00:29:38,376
to conceal his identity
as an assassin.
609
00:29:38,443 --> 00:29:39,811
Yes...
610
00:29:39,878 --> 00:29:43,681
But there is even
a more ideal assassin.
611
00:29:43,748 --> 00:29:45,183
( phone buzzes )
612
00:29:45,250 --> 00:29:49,687
One who doesn't know
he's an assassin.
613
00:29:49,754 --> 00:29:50,688
Care for some tea?
614
00:29:50,755 --> 00:29:52,290
Yes, please.
615
00:29:52,357 --> 00:29:55,827
Dominique,
service for two, please.
616
00:29:57,028 --> 00:29:58,897
( beeping )
617
00:29:58,963 --> 00:30:01,833
(<i> ominous theme playing</i> )
618
00:30:07,105 --> 00:30:09,674
I must kill Pahpshmir.
619
00:30:09,741 --> 00:30:12,043
( clicking )
620
00:30:14,979 --> 00:30:16,447
( beeps )
621
00:30:17,949 --> 00:30:20,251
Will that be
with cream and sugar, sir?
622
00:30:20,318 --> 00:30:21,886
Mr. Pahpshmir?
623
00:30:25,390 --> 00:30:26,824
Cream only, please.
624
00:30:28,059 --> 00:30:30,528
Oh, there's a gun
on the floor, sir.
625
00:30:30,595 --> 00:30:31,996
Oh, just leave it there.
626
00:30:32,063 --> 00:30:34,632
It's all right, Dominique.
The tea, please.
627
00:30:34,699 --> 00:30:35,934
Of course.
628
00:30:38,069 --> 00:30:39,637
Tell me, Mr. Pahpshmir,
629
00:30:39,704 --> 00:30:43,374
have you ever seen
sensory-induced hypnosis?
630
00:30:43,441 --> 00:30:46,144
I think I just have.
631
00:30:46,211 --> 00:30:48,146
But how will you get her
near the target?
632
00:30:48,213 --> 00:30:51,783
Oh, I doubt
whether it will be her.
633
00:30:51,849 --> 00:30:53,384
Good secretaries
634
00:30:53,451 --> 00:30:56,020
are so hard to find
these days.
635
00:30:56,087 --> 00:30:58,790
And it seems to me...
636
00:30:58,856 --> 00:31:01,392
anyone...
637
00:31:01,459 --> 00:31:03,328
can be an assassin.
638
00:31:03,394 --> 00:31:06,464
(<i> suspenseful theme playing</i> )
639
00:31:06,531 --> 00:31:08,933
FRANK:
<i>I had 24 hours</i> <i>to come up with something</i>
640
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,869
<i>that would clear</i>
<i>my good friend's name.</i>
641
00:31:11,936 --> 00:31:13,471
<i>I decided to return</i>
<i>to the hospital</i>
642
00:31:13,538 --> 00:31:15,139
<i>with Ludwig's</i>
<i>shipping records</i>
643
00:31:15,206 --> 00:31:17,108
<i>to see if I could</i>
<i>jog Nordberg's memory.</i>
644
00:31:17,175 --> 00:31:20,044
Oh, Dr. Alford,
I have Mrs. Kepley's chart
645
00:31:20,111 --> 00:31:21,479
if you're ready to go over it.
646
00:31:21,546 --> 00:31:23,848
I'll be with you when
I finish with Mr. Nordberg.
647
00:31:23,915 --> 00:31:25,883
Yes, doctor.
648
00:31:25,950 --> 00:31:29,554
(<i> ominous theme playing</i> )
649
00:31:29,621 --> 00:31:30,555
( beeps )
650
00:31:31,889 --> 00:31:33,558
Have you out of here
in a couple of--
651
00:31:33,625 --> 00:31:35,393
( beeping )
652
00:31:40,398 --> 00:31:42,300
I'd like to see
Officer Nordberg.
653
00:31:42,367 --> 00:31:44,335
All right, I'll need
you to sign in--
654
00:31:44,402 --> 00:31:46,804
Wait a minute.
Where's the police officer
655
00:31:46,871 --> 00:31:48,172
who was on guard at that door?
656
00:31:48,239 --> 00:31:50,475
Oh, Lieutenant Drebin called
and sent him home.
657
00:31:50,541 --> 00:31:51,876
Lieutenant Drebin?
658
00:31:51,943 --> 00:31:54,679
I must kill Nordberg.
659
00:31:54,746 --> 00:31:57,649
I must kill Nordberg.
660
00:31:57,715 --> 00:31:59,517
Drebin, police squad!
661
00:31:59,584 --> 00:32:01,119
Let go of that pillow!
662
00:32:01,185 --> 00:32:02,553
Aah!
663
00:32:05,223 --> 00:32:06,157
Unh!
664
00:32:07,492 --> 00:32:08,926
( groaning )
665
00:32:15,667 --> 00:32:17,435
Agh!
666
00:32:24,309 --> 00:32:26,611
( horn honks )
Hey! Hey!
667
00:32:26,678 --> 00:32:28,579
Hey! Hey!
668
00:32:30,014 --> 00:32:31,516
Medical emergency!
669
00:32:31,582 --> 00:32:33,184
( car honks )
670
00:32:38,956 --> 00:32:41,859
Drebin, police squad!
671
00:32:41,926 --> 00:32:43,494
Follow that black car!
672
00:32:45,163 --> 00:32:47,031
The car!
Follow that car!
673
00:32:47,098 --> 00:32:48,866
All right, Stephanie,
check your mirror.
674
00:32:48,933 --> 00:32:51,202
Signal.
675
00:32:51,269 --> 00:32:53,638
Now pull into traffic.
676
00:32:56,874 --> 00:32:59,177
Try and ease off
on the brake.
677
00:33:01,212 --> 00:33:03,481
Give it a little gas.
678
00:33:03,548 --> 00:33:05,416
I know a short cut.
Turn left here.
679
00:33:07,985 --> 00:33:10,388
There he is!
INSTRUCTOR: Easy.
680
00:33:20,898 --> 00:33:22,633
Aah!
681
00:33:26,104 --> 00:33:27,705
Turn right!
Follow him to the right!
682
00:33:27,772 --> 00:33:31,509
It's okay. Normally, you would
not be going 65
683
00:33:31,576 --> 00:33:34,145
down the wrong way
of a one-way street.
684
00:33:34,212 --> 00:33:36,481
( honking )
685
00:33:36,547 --> 00:33:37,615
Oh!
686
00:33:37,682 --> 00:33:38,649
Apply the brakes.
687
00:33:39,984 --> 00:33:42,053
Now put it in reverse.
688
00:33:49,494 --> 00:33:50,728
You dumb broad!
689
00:33:50,795 --> 00:33:54,232
All right, Stephanie,
gently extend your arm.
690
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,202
Extend your middle finger.
691
00:34:01,973 --> 00:34:04,075
Very good. Well done.
692
00:34:04,142 --> 00:34:05,343
There he is!
693
00:34:05,410 --> 00:34:07,211
Go for it, Stephanie.
694
00:34:07,278 --> 00:34:09,580
( inhales deeply )
695
00:34:19,257 --> 00:34:21,492
( honking )
696
00:34:26,631 --> 00:34:27,732
Aah!
697
00:34:34,172 --> 00:34:36,841
( screaming )
698
00:34:43,481 --> 00:34:48,519
Oh, no!
699
00:34:50,988 --> 00:34:52,156
( people exclaiming )
700
00:34:52,223 --> 00:34:54,325
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
701
00:34:54,392 --> 00:34:58,196
All right, move on!
Nothing to see here!
702
00:34:58,262 --> 00:35:00,198
Please disperse!
703
00:35:00,264 --> 00:35:03,601
Nothing to see here!
Please!
704
00:35:05,770 --> 00:35:07,505
FRANK:
<i>The attempt on Nordberg's life</i>
705
00:35:07,572 --> 00:35:09,740
<i>left me shaken and disturbed.</i>
706
00:35:09,807 --> 00:35:11,843
<i>And all the questions</i>
<i>kept coming up</i>
707
00:35:11,909 --> 00:35:13,177
<i>over and over again,</i>
708
00:35:13,244 --> 00:35:15,780
<i>like bubbles</i>
<i>in a case of club soda.</i>
709
00:35:15,847 --> 00:35:18,516
<i>Who was this character</i>
<i>in the hospital?</i>
710
00:35:18,583 --> 00:35:20,785
<i>Why was he trying</i>
<i>to kill Nordberg?</i>
711
00:35:20,852 --> 00:35:22,854
<i>And for whom?</i>
712
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:24,355
<i>Did Ludwig lie to me?</i>
713
00:35:24,422 --> 00:35:26,757
<i>I didn't have any proof,</i>
<i>but somehow</i>
714
00:35:26,824 --> 00:35:28,960
<i>I didn't entirely trust him,</i>
<i>either.</i>
715
00:35:29,026 --> 00:35:32,597
<i>Why was the</i> I Luv You
<i>not listed in Ludwig's records?</i>
716
00:35:32,663 --> 00:35:35,500
<i>And if it was,</i>
<i>did he know about it?</i>
717
00:35:35,566 --> 00:35:37,301
<i>And if he didn't,</i>
<i>who did?</i>
718
00:35:37,368 --> 00:35:38,536
( animals chittering )
719
00:35:38,603 --> 00:35:40,705
<i>And where the hell was I?</i>
720
00:35:43,574 --> 00:35:45,743
<i>It was almost midnight</i>
<i>when I got to my door.</i>
721
00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:47,411
<i>I just wanted</i>
<i>a glass of Bosco</i>
722
00:35:47,478 --> 00:35:49,213
<i>and then slip</i>
<i>under my blankets.</i>
723
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:52,450
<i>But my night</i>
<i>was just about to begin.</i>
724
00:35:52,517 --> 00:35:55,353
(<i> suspenseful theme playing</i> )
725
00:36:26,117 --> 00:36:27,618
( grunts )
726
00:36:31,656 --> 00:36:32,857
You're late.
727
00:36:35,226 --> 00:36:37,695
That depends on
what I'm late for.
728
00:36:37,762 --> 00:36:40,464
You said we should
have dinner sometime.
729
00:36:40,531 --> 00:36:44,669
Tonight became...
sometime.
730
00:36:44,735 --> 00:36:46,637
I'm boiling a roast.
731
00:36:49,740 --> 00:36:52,310
How hot and wet
do you like it?
732
00:36:52,376 --> 00:36:54,845
Very hot...
733
00:36:54,912 --> 00:36:57,448
And awfully wet.
734
00:36:57,515 --> 00:37:01,552
You seem to know
your way around the kitchen.
735
00:37:01,619 --> 00:37:03,888
I'm just as handy
in other rooms of the house.
736
00:37:04,922 --> 00:37:06,557
That shirt looks familiar.
737
00:37:07,658 --> 00:37:09,360
It's yours.
738
00:37:09,427 --> 00:37:11,596
I didn't want to get
stained or wrinkled,
739
00:37:11,662 --> 00:37:13,898
at least...
740
00:37:13,965 --> 00:37:15,499
not yet.
741
00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:22,239
Do you mind if I slip into
something more comfortable?
742
00:37:28,613 --> 00:37:30,047
There...
743
00:37:30,114 --> 00:37:31,315
That's better.
744
00:37:32,883 --> 00:37:35,286
I hope you brought
your appetite.
745
00:37:36,287 --> 00:37:37,989
I brought everything.
746
00:37:38,055 --> 00:37:39,657
Well, then...
747
00:37:39,724 --> 00:37:40,925
dig in.
748
00:37:40,992 --> 00:37:42,693
( thunder rumbling )
749
00:37:45,196 --> 00:37:46,764
Hmm, interesting.
750
00:37:46,831 --> 00:37:50,201
Almost as interesting
as the photographs I saw today.
751
00:37:50,267 --> 00:37:52,570
I was young.
I needed the work.
752
00:37:52,637 --> 00:37:55,206
No, no. They were taken
down at Ludwig's docks.
753
00:37:55,272 --> 00:37:57,241
A ship came in,
a Panamanian ship.
754
00:37:57,308 --> 00:38:00,277
It wasn't on
Ludwig's records.
755
00:38:00,344 --> 00:38:02,813
Probably an oversight.
756
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,016
How's your, um...
757
00:38:05,082 --> 00:38:06,384
meat?
758
00:38:09,053 --> 00:38:11,389
You be the judge of that.
759
00:38:14,725 --> 00:38:15,960
Mmm.
760
00:38:16,761 --> 00:38:17,695
( chuckles )
761
00:38:18,696 --> 00:38:21,432
Mmm.
I've got nine more.
762
00:38:26,003 --> 00:38:27,104
Have you seen that ship?
763
00:38:27,171 --> 00:38:30,574
I don't know. It doesn't
look like one of ours.
764
00:38:30,641 --> 00:38:32,877
But then again,
we deal with so many ships.
765
00:38:32,943 --> 00:38:36,180
Has officer Nordberg been able
to tell you anything?
766
00:38:36,247 --> 00:38:37,448
No. Unfortunately,
767
00:38:37,515 --> 00:38:39,216
there was another
attempt on his life.
768
00:38:39,283 --> 00:38:40,217
He's back in a coma.
769
00:38:40,284 --> 00:38:42,553
Oh, that's terrible.
770
00:38:42,620 --> 00:38:44,522
This world
is such a violent place.
771
00:38:44,588 --> 00:38:46,857
If it wasn't,
I'd be out of a job.
772
00:38:46,924 --> 00:38:49,326
Be back on the circuit
riding motocross.
773
00:38:49,393 --> 00:38:50,728
But I'd give it all up
tomorrow
774
00:38:50,795 --> 00:38:53,130
to live in a world
without crime.
775
00:38:53,197 --> 00:38:54,532
That's beautiful.
776
00:38:58,369 --> 00:39:00,938
This is all happening
too fast.
777
00:39:02,807 --> 00:39:06,043
( sighs )
I've...been hurt before.
778
00:39:07,044 --> 00:39:07,978
I'm sorry.
779
00:39:10,381 --> 00:39:11,916
I'd known her for years.
780
00:39:11,982 --> 00:39:14,385
We used to go to all
the police functions together.
781
00:39:14,452 --> 00:39:17,354
Oh, how I loved her.
782
00:39:17,421 --> 00:39:19,223
But she had her music.
783
00:39:19,290 --> 00:39:21,492
I think she had her music.
784
00:39:21,559 --> 00:39:25,730
She hung out with the Chicago
Male Chorus and Symphony.
785
00:39:25,796 --> 00:39:28,232
I don't recall her
playing an instrument
786
00:39:28,299 --> 00:39:29,700
or being able to carry a tune,
787
00:39:29,767 --> 00:39:32,970
yet she was on the road
300 days out of the year.
788
00:39:33,037 --> 00:39:36,340
In fact, I bought her
a harp for Christmas.
789
00:39:36,407 --> 00:39:38,476
She asked me what it was.
790
00:39:40,644 --> 00:39:42,113
It's the same old story.
791
00:39:42,179 --> 00:39:43,914
Boy finds girl,
boy loses girl,
792
00:39:43,981 --> 00:39:46,917
girl finds boy,
boy forgets girl,
793
00:39:46,984 --> 00:39:48,786
boy remembers girl...
794
00:39:48,853 --> 00:39:50,955
Girl dies in
a tragic blimp accident
795
00:39:51,021 --> 00:39:53,057
over the Orange Bowl
on New Year's Day.
796
00:39:54,291 --> 00:39:55,426
Goodyear?
797
00:39:55,493 --> 00:39:57,528
No, the worst.
798
00:39:57,595 --> 00:39:58,929
You poor dear.
799
00:39:58,996 --> 00:40:02,833
(<i> romantic theme playing</i> )
800
00:40:02,900 --> 00:40:04,335
Now, now.
801
00:40:04,401 --> 00:40:06,137
I don't want
to upset you.
802
00:40:06,203 --> 00:40:09,073
Oh, Frank, it's not that.
803
00:40:09,140 --> 00:40:11,876
Why did you have to be
so wonderful?
804
00:40:13,144 --> 00:40:15,546
There's something
I ought to tell you. No.
805
00:40:15,613 --> 00:40:17,615
No need to tell me anything.
806
00:40:17,681 --> 00:40:21,051
What's in the past,
it doesn't matter, anyway.
807
00:40:21,118 --> 00:40:23,154
Maybe...
808
00:40:23,220 --> 00:40:25,523
Maybe we're just
two lonely souls
809
00:40:25,589 --> 00:40:27,558
who have found each other.
810
00:40:31,595 --> 00:40:33,197
Funny face.
811
00:40:39,336 --> 00:40:42,006
(<i> romantic theme swells</i> )
812
00:40:51,682 --> 00:40:53,984
I want you to know,
I...
813
00:40:54,051 --> 00:40:55,586
practice safe sex.
814
00:40:56,153 --> 00:40:57,488
So do I.
815
00:41:11,569 --> 00:41:15,306
(<i> Herman's Hermits' "I'm into</i>
<i>Something Good" playing</i> )
816
00:41:15,372 --> 00:41:18,342
<i>♪ Woke up this morning</i>
<i>Feelin' fine ♪</i>
817
00:41:18,409 --> 00:41:22,012
<i>♪ Had something special</i>
<i>On my mind ♪</i>
818
00:41:22,079 --> 00:41:26,584
<i>♪ Last night, I met a new girl</i>
<i>In the neighborhood ♪</i>
819
00:41:26,650 --> 00:41:28,853
<i>♪ Whoa, yeah ♪</i>
820
00:41:28,919 --> 00:41:32,656
<i>♪ Something tells me</i>
<i>I'm into something good ♪</i>
821
00:41:32,723 --> 00:41:35,860
<i>♪ Something tells me</i>
<i>I'm into something ♪</i>
822
00:41:35,926 --> 00:41:39,330
<i>♪ She's the kind of girl</i>
<i>Who's not too shy ♪</i>
823
00:41:39,396 --> 00:41:42,666
<i>♪ And I can tell</i>
<i>I'm her kind of guy ♪</i>
824
00:41:42,733 --> 00:41:45,069
<i>♪ 'Cause she danced</i>
<i>Close to me ♪</i>
825
00:41:45,135 --> 00:41:47,371
<i>♪ Like I hoped she would ♪</i>
<i>♪ She danced with me ♪</i>
826
00:41:47,438 --> 00:41:49,840
<i>♪ Like I hoped she would ♪</i> <i>♪ Oh, yeah ♪</i>
<i>♪ Like I hoped she would ♪</i> <i>♪ Oh, yeah ♪</i>
827
00:41:49,907 --> 00:41:53,310
<i>♪ Something tells me</i>
<i>I'm into something good ♪</i>
828
00:41:53,377 --> 00:41:56,981
<i>♪ Something tells me</i>
<i>I'm into something ♪</i>
829
00:41:57,047 --> 00:42:03,787
<i>♪ Ahh, ahh ♪</i>
830
00:42:03,854 --> 00:42:07,124
<i>♪ I walked her home</i>
<i>And she held my hand ♪</i>
831
00:42:07,191 --> 00:42:10,361
<i>♪ I knew it wouldn't be</i>
<i>Just a one-night stand ♪</i>
832
00:42:10,427 --> 00:42:12,997
<i>♪ So I asked</i>
<i>To see her next week ♪</i>
833
00:42:13,063 --> 00:42:15,432
<i>♪ And she told me I could ♪</i>
<i>♪ I asked to see her ♪</i>
834
00:42:15,499 --> 00:42:17,468
<i>♪ And she told me I could ♪</i>
<i>♪ Whoa, yeah ♪</i>
835
00:42:17,534 --> 00:42:21,171
<i>♪ Something tells me</i>
<i>I'm into something good ♪</i>
836
00:42:21,238 --> 00:42:23,674
<i>♪ Something tells me</i>
<i>I'm into something ♪</i>
837
00:42:23,741 --> 00:42:26,043
<i>♪ I'm into something good ♪</i>
838
00:42:26,110 --> 00:42:28,746
<i>♪ Oh, yeah</i>
<i>Something good ♪</i>
839
00:42:28,812 --> 00:42:30,915
<i>♪ Something tells me</i>
<i>I'm into something ♪</i>
840
00:42:30,981 --> 00:42:33,150
I had a wonderful day,
Frank.
841
00:42:33,217 --> 00:42:35,786
I can't believe
we just met yesterday.
842
00:42:36,787 --> 00:42:38,522
You really mean that,
Jane?
843
00:42:38,589 --> 00:42:39,757
You're not just saying it
844
00:42:39,823 --> 00:42:42,026
because we exchanged
bodily fluids?
845
00:42:42,092 --> 00:42:45,596
No, I really mean it.
You're very special.
846
00:42:45,663 --> 00:42:47,665
Can I interest you
in a nightcap?
847
00:42:47,731 --> 00:42:49,266
No, thank you.
I don't wear them.
848
00:42:49,333 --> 00:42:52,469
Actually, I'm on duty.
We're on stakeout tonight.
849
00:42:52,536 --> 00:42:54,405
But I'll be thinking
about you.
850
00:42:54,471 --> 00:42:56,540
I'll call you tomorrow.
851
00:42:56,607 --> 00:42:58,208
Okay.
852
00:42:58,275 --> 00:43:03,047
<i>♪ Something tells me</i>
<i>I'm into something good ♪</i>
853
00:43:03,113 --> 00:43:05,382
<i>♪ Something tells me</i>
<i>I'm into something ♪</i>
854
00:43:05,449 --> 00:43:07,785
Good night.
855
00:43:07,851 --> 00:43:09,853
<i>♪ Oh, yeah</i>
<i>Something good ♪</i>
856
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:12,356
{\an8}<i>♪ Something tells me</i>
<i>I'm into something ♪</i>
857
00:43:12,423 --> 00:43:14,591
{\an8}<i>♪ Into something good</i>
<i>Something good ♪</i>
858
00:43:14,658 --> 00:43:17,895
<i>♪ Something good... ♪</i>
859
00:43:17,962 --> 00:43:19,163
FRANK:
I'm telling you, Ed,
860
00:43:19,229 --> 00:43:21,332
the answer's up there
in Ludwig's office.
861
00:43:21,398 --> 00:43:23,968
Call it what you will--
A hunch, woman's intuition.
862
00:43:24,034 --> 00:43:26,603
Ludwig knows a lot more
than he's telling us.
863
00:43:26,670 --> 00:43:28,872
A hunch won't stand up
in court, Frank.
864
00:43:28,939 --> 00:43:30,674
Where are your hard facts?
865
00:43:30,741 --> 00:43:32,643
Look, he's the only one
outside of ourselves
866
00:43:32,710 --> 00:43:34,445
who knew that Nordberg
was still alive.
867
00:43:34,511 --> 00:43:38,148
Next thing we know, some thug
tries to knock Nordberg off
868
00:43:38,215 --> 00:43:39,283
in the hospital.
869
00:43:39,350 --> 00:43:40,551
That may be...
870
00:43:40,617 --> 00:43:42,920
But breaking into
Ludwig's office--
871
00:43:42,987 --> 00:43:44,655
You're taking a big chance.
872
00:43:44,722 --> 00:43:45,923
I know.
873
00:43:45,990 --> 00:43:47,858
You take a chance
getting up in the morning
874
00:43:47,925 --> 00:43:50,728
crossing the street
or sticking your face in a fan.
875
00:43:50,794 --> 00:43:51,996
Look. There he is.
876
00:43:55,933 --> 00:43:58,435
All right, just trust me
on this, Ed.
877
00:43:58,502 --> 00:43:59,737
I know I'm right.
878
00:43:59,803 --> 00:44:00,871
Okay, but be careful.
879
00:44:00,938 --> 00:44:02,773
You get a good night's sleep.
880
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:04,208
I'll see you in the morning.
881
00:44:04,274 --> 00:44:05,342
Mmph. Mmph.
882
00:44:11,315 --> 00:44:14,651
(<i> suspenseful theme playing</i> )
883
00:44:57,027 --> 00:44:58,429
Bingo.
884
00:45:14,144 --> 00:45:17,281
( ragtime music playing )
885
00:45:20,317 --> 00:45:22,453
(<i> suspenseful theme resumes</i> )
886
00:45:45,542 --> 00:45:48,545
"20 million deposited,
Omani Bank, Zurich,
887
00:45:48,612 --> 00:45:51,215
upon proof
of Queen's death"?
888
00:45:59,690 --> 00:46:02,192
( exclaiming )
889
00:46:06,864 --> 00:46:09,433
( ragtime music playing )
890
00:46:22,613 --> 00:46:24,548
( glass shattering )
891
00:46:24,615 --> 00:46:26,250
Ah! Ah!
892
00:46:31,155 --> 00:46:32,789
Oh!
893
00:46:39,796 --> 00:46:41,198
Oh?
894
00:46:45,102 --> 00:46:47,871
(<i> suspenseful theme playing</i> )
895
00:46:51,742 --> 00:46:54,511
( sirens wailing )
896
00:47:15,666 --> 00:47:17,768
(<i> Klaxon sounds</i> )
Aah!
897
00:47:17,834 --> 00:47:19,570
(<i> Klaxon sounds</i> ) Aah!
(<i> Klaxon sounds</i> ) Aah!
898
00:47:19,636 --> 00:47:21,305
Oh, oh...
899
00:47:21,371 --> 00:47:22,406
Oh!
900
00:47:23,574 --> 00:47:25,442
Aah!
901
00:47:35,652 --> 00:47:37,287
( screaming )
902
00:47:49,499 --> 00:47:51,435
( creaking )
903
00:47:56,673 --> 00:47:59,977
( screams )
904
00:48:03,347 --> 00:48:04,548
( gasps )
905
00:48:04,615 --> 00:48:06,550
( screaming )
906
00:48:11,054 --> 00:48:12,990
MAYOR:
Entering without a search warrant,
907
00:48:13,056 --> 00:48:15,726
destroying property, arson,
908
00:48:15,792 --> 00:48:18,795
sexual assault
with a concrete dildo.
909
00:48:18,862 --> 00:48:20,564
What the hell
were you doing there
910
00:48:20,631 --> 00:48:22,399
in the first place?
Yes. Yes, I know.
911
00:48:22,466 --> 00:48:23,967
I'm sorry about that,
Your Honor,
912
00:48:24,034 --> 00:48:26,236
but we have reason to believe
that Vincent Ludwig
913
00:48:26,303 --> 00:48:28,538
is involved in a plot
to assassinate the Queen.
914
00:48:28,605 --> 00:48:30,574
That's ridiculous!
915
00:48:30,641 --> 00:48:32,409
Where is this evidence?
916
00:48:33,510 --> 00:48:34,711
Well, it...
917
00:48:34,778 --> 00:48:36,480
burned in the fire.
918
00:48:36,546 --> 00:48:38,148
Gentlemen...
919
00:48:38,215 --> 00:48:41,184
Vincent Ludwig is
one of the most respected
920
00:48:41,251 --> 00:48:42,452
members of this community,
921
00:48:42,519 --> 00:48:44,955
and if we're all
very nice to him,
922
00:48:45,022 --> 00:48:47,257
he will agree
not to press charges.
923
00:48:47,324 --> 00:48:50,127
Your Honor... Did I make myself clear?
Your Honor... Did I make myself clear?
924
00:48:50,193 --> 00:48:52,963
Yes, Your Honor, very clear.
Good day.
925
00:48:54,998 --> 00:48:57,167
Oh, Drebin.
926
00:48:57,234 --> 00:48:58,435
I don't want
any more trouble
927
00:48:58,502 --> 00:49:00,737
like you had last year
on the south side.
928
00:49:00,804 --> 00:49:01,938
Understand?
929
00:49:02,005 --> 00:49:03,473
That's my policy.
930
00:49:03,540 --> 00:49:06,977
Yes, well, when I see
five weirdos dressed in togas
931
00:49:07,044 --> 00:49:08,812
stabbing a guy
in the middle of the park
932
00:49:08,879 --> 00:49:10,147
in full view of 100 people,
933
00:49:10,213 --> 00:49:12,082
I shoot the bastards,
that's my policy.
934
00:49:12,149 --> 00:49:14,885
That was a Shakespeare
in the Park production
935
00:49:14,951 --> 00:49:18,088
of<i> Julius Caesar,</i>
you moron.
936
00:49:18,155 --> 00:49:20,991
You killed five actors.
937
00:49:21,058 --> 00:49:22,859
Good ones.
Your Honor--
938
00:49:22,926 --> 00:49:26,263
Drebin, your presence
at the Queen's reception tonight
939
00:49:26,330 --> 00:49:28,165
will not be necessary.
940
00:49:28,231 --> 00:49:30,200
Is that understood?
941
00:49:30,267 --> 00:49:32,069
We understand,
Your Honor.
942
00:49:32,135 --> 00:49:33,737
Thank you. Heh-heh.
943
00:49:36,206 --> 00:49:39,343
(<i> jazzy theme playing</i> )
944
00:49:56,026 --> 00:49:58,562
BOB ( on radio ):
<i>...and the plane</i> <i>has taxied to a stop.</i>
945
00:49:58,628 --> 00:50:00,364
<i>They're rolling out</i>
<i>the steps</i>
946
00:50:00,430 --> 00:50:02,499
<i>and any minute now,</i>
<i>we expect the doors to open.</i>
947
00:50:02,566 --> 00:50:04,935
<i>And we'll get our first</i>
<i>glimpse of the Queen, Ken,</i>
948
00:50:05,001 --> 00:50:06,403
<i>as she begins her first visit</i>
949
00:50:06,470 --> 00:50:08,405
<i>to the Los Angeles area</i>
<i>in over five years.</i>
950
00:50:08,472 --> 00:50:10,340
KEN:
<i>That's right, Bob,</i> <i>and it's a balmy,</i>
951
00:50:10,407 --> 00:50:11,708
<i>beautiful evening</i>
<i>for it too.</i>
952
00:50:11,775 --> 00:50:13,443
<i>She'll be going</i>
<i>straight from here</i>
953
00:50:13,510 --> 00:50:15,612
<i>to a formal reception</i>
<i>hosted by the mayor...</i>
954
00:50:15,679 --> 00:50:17,047
( doorbell rings )
955
00:50:17,114 --> 00:50:18,582
( radio clicks )
956
00:50:22,919 --> 00:50:24,521
Jane. Frank.
Jane. Frank.
957
00:50:26,523 --> 00:50:28,759
I'm just making some dinner.
Are you hungry?
958
00:50:28,825 --> 00:50:31,228
Well...
Maybe just a bite.
959
00:50:31,294 --> 00:50:33,029
I just talked to Vincent Ludwig,
960
00:50:33,096 --> 00:50:34,798
he wanted me to ask you
to meet him tonight.
961
00:50:34,865 --> 00:50:37,234
Jane, I think there's
something you should know.
962
00:50:37,300 --> 00:50:39,503
I was up in Vincent Ludwig's
place last night.
963
00:50:39,569 --> 00:50:40,971
Oh, how nice!
Did he show you
964
00:50:41,037 --> 00:50:42,572
his priceless collection
of Ming vases
965
00:50:42,639 --> 00:50:44,508
and those rare oil paintings?
What about--
966
00:50:44,574 --> 00:50:47,377
Jane, I think that
Vincent Ludwig is involved
967
00:50:47,444 --> 00:50:49,045
in a number of
criminal activities.
968
00:50:49,112 --> 00:50:50,580
Oh, Frank, stop it.
969
00:50:50,647 --> 00:50:53,016
Vincent Ludwig
is a well-respected,
970
00:50:53,083 --> 00:50:54,484
generous, kind man.
971
00:50:54,551 --> 00:50:56,787
It's just too bad
you don't know him like I do.
972
00:50:56,853 --> 00:50:57,954
Oh, yeah,
and how's that?
973
00:50:58,021 --> 00:50:59,723
What's that
supposed to mean?
974
00:50:59,790 --> 00:51:01,358
I'm...sorry.
975
00:51:01,425 --> 00:51:03,226
I'm worried
about you.
976
00:51:03,293 --> 00:51:05,095
I don't trust him,
and I don't want you
977
00:51:05,162 --> 00:51:07,030
getting mixed up
in anything dangerous.
978
00:51:07,097 --> 00:51:09,099
Wong Wu's?
They back in business?
979
00:51:09,166 --> 00:51:11,034
I thought they closed down
three years ago.
980
00:51:11,101 --> 00:51:13,370
Gee, has it been
that long?
981
00:51:13,437 --> 00:51:15,705
I don't feel like Chinese
tonight, anyway.
982
00:51:15,772 --> 00:51:16,873
( inhales deeply )
983
00:51:16,940 --> 00:51:18,308
Uhh...
984
00:51:18,375 --> 00:51:20,277
It's sweet of you
to be concerned about me,
985
00:51:20,343 --> 00:51:22,512
but you're wrong
about Vincent Ludwig.
986
00:51:22,579 --> 00:51:26,183
He's such a gentleman,
and he's so generous.
987
00:51:26,249 --> 00:51:27,784
He just wants to have
a talk with you
988
00:51:27,851 --> 00:51:30,620
to clear up any doubts
that you might have about him.
989
00:51:31,755 --> 00:51:32,889
When?
Tonight.
990
00:51:32,956 --> 00:51:35,392
He wants you to meet him
at the 7th Street stockyards
991
00:51:35,459 --> 00:51:36,860
near the 53rd Street entrance.
992
00:51:36,927 --> 00:51:40,063
All right, but you promise me
you'll be careful.
993
00:51:40,130 --> 00:51:43,633
Of course I will,
funny face, for you.
994
00:51:43,700 --> 00:51:46,870
Oh, I got to go.
I'll see you tomorrow.
995
00:51:48,371 --> 00:51:51,441
Are you sure you won't have
something to eat?
996
00:51:54,678 --> 00:51:56,813
(<i> suspenseful theme playing</i> )
997
00:51:56,880 --> 00:51:58,815
( mooing )
998
00:52:16,700 --> 00:52:17,801
Ludwig?
999
00:52:19,035 --> 00:52:20,170
MAN:
Drebin?
1000
00:52:20,237 --> 00:52:22,138
Yeah, I'm Drebin.
1001
00:52:22,205 --> 00:52:25,542
I have a message for you
from Vincent Ludwig.
1002
00:52:25,609 --> 00:52:28,545
Take that,
you lousy scum!
1003
00:52:28,612 --> 00:52:30,814
I'm sorry.
I can't hear you.
1004
00:52:30,881 --> 00:52:33,850
Don't fire the gun
while you're talking.
1005
00:52:54,604 --> 00:52:55,906
( clicking )
1006
00:52:55,972 --> 00:52:57,340
All right...
1007
00:52:57,407 --> 00:53:01,912
Put your gun down
and your hand up.
1008
00:53:14,424 --> 00:53:16,192
( man gurgles )
1009
00:53:25,535 --> 00:53:27,671
(<i> jazzy theme playing</i> )
1010
00:53:35,111 --> 00:53:37,480
Matthews,
stake out that end.
1011
00:53:37,547 --> 00:53:40,483
Adcock, check for anyone
suspicious-looking.
1012
00:53:42,218 --> 00:53:44,087
Ed!
Frank, what are you doing here?
1013
00:53:44,154 --> 00:53:45,622
I just came
from the stockyards,
1014
00:53:45,689 --> 00:53:47,724
trading shots
with one of Ludwig's goons.
1015
00:53:47,791 --> 00:53:49,826
They're planning
on doing it tonight, Ed, here.
1016
00:53:49,893 --> 00:53:51,661
That's why they were
trying to knock me off.
1017
00:53:51,728 --> 00:53:53,396
Right. We'd better be
on the lookout.
1018
00:53:53,463 --> 00:53:56,333
Right. Excuse me, ma'am.
Security.
1019
00:53:56,399 --> 00:53:58,268
( wand whirring )
( exclaiming )
1020
00:53:58,335 --> 00:53:59,769
What's the meaning
of this?
1021
00:53:59,836 --> 00:54:02,105
All right, all right,
just relax, take it easy.
1022
00:54:02,172 --> 00:54:03,506
Nothing's gonna happen.
1023
00:54:03,573 --> 00:54:05,408
Hey, I didn't
do anything.
1024
00:54:05,475 --> 00:54:07,177
Oh, yeah?
Well, how about this?
1025
00:54:07,243 --> 00:54:09,112
You think we were
born yesterday?
1026
00:54:09,179 --> 00:54:10,914
You didn't do anything, huh?
1027
00:54:10,981 --> 00:54:12,082
I got rights!
1028
00:54:12,148 --> 00:54:13,617
Look, Ed.
1029
00:54:13,683 --> 00:54:16,186
He's got a picture
of your wife.
1030
00:54:16,252 --> 00:54:17,721
Ethel.
1031
00:54:19,456 --> 00:54:22,492
All right. Anyone else here
seeing his wife?
1032
00:54:22,559 --> 00:54:25,228
That's all right.
That's okay, Frank.
1033
00:54:25,295 --> 00:54:26,496
Let's get in the hall.
1034
00:54:36,673 --> 00:54:38,742
Are you enjoying yourself,
my dear?
1035
00:54:38,808 --> 00:54:41,444
Oh, Mr. Ludwig,
I'm so excited to be here.
1036
00:54:41,511 --> 00:54:43,446
I really do appreciate
your inviting me.
1037
00:54:43,513 --> 00:54:46,049
Oh, the pleasure
is all mine, my dear,
1038
00:54:46,116 --> 00:54:47,617
and perhaps afterwards,
we can--
1039
00:54:49,619 --> 00:54:51,488
Drebin.
Frank.
1040
00:54:51,554 --> 00:54:54,658
You're both right.
Surprised to see me, Mr. Ludwig?
1041
00:54:54,724 --> 00:54:57,661
This is not the time
or place to talk.
1042
00:54:57,727 --> 00:55:00,397
It's way past
the time we talked.
1043
00:55:00,463 --> 00:55:03,033
The gloves are off.
I'm playing hardball, Ludwig.
1044
00:55:03,099 --> 00:55:04,668
It's fourth and 15,
1045
00:55:04,734 --> 00:55:06,970
and you're looking
at a full-court press.
1046
00:55:07,037 --> 00:55:11,041
Mr. Drebin, if you have
evidence, then use it.
1047
00:55:11,107 --> 00:55:15,378
If not, I am warning you,
get off my back,
1048
00:55:15,445 --> 00:55:17,681
or I promise you,
it will cost you dearly.
1049
00:55:20,316 --> 00:55:22,986
Frank, what's wrong?
1050
00:55:23,053 --> 00:55:25,288
A lot of things,
sweetie pie.
1051
00:55:25,355 --> 00:55:26,656
A little meeting
that turned into
1052
00:55:26,723 --> 00:55:28,291
a peek-a-boo session
with bullets
1053
00:55:28,358 --> 00:55:29,793
all set up by someone
who's been playing me
1054
00:55:29,859 --> 00:55:31,928
like a violin at the annual
saps convention.
1055
00:55:31,995 --> 00:55:34,497
Funny face, I don't know
what you're talking about.
1056
00:55:34,564 --> 00:55:36,733
My stockyard meeting,
butterwings.
1057
00:55:36,800 --> 00:55:38,601
Or don't you remember
setting that up?
1058
00:55:38,668 --> 00:55:41,204
But Mr. Ludwig said you
called the meeting off.
1059
00:55:41,271 --> 00:55:42,972
Believe me, I-- Hum me another one,
Believe me, I-- Hum me another one,
1060
00:55:43,039 --> 00:55:44,240
snooky lumps.
1061
00:55:44,307 --> 00:55:46,409
Frank, it's the truth.
1062
00:55:46,476 --> 00:55:47,677
It's true
what they say--
1063
00:55:47,744 --> 00:55:49,546
Cops and women
don't mix.
1064
00:55:49,612 --> 00:55:51,281
It's like eating
a spoonful of Drano.
1065
00:55:51,347 --> 00:55:52,682
Sure,
it'll clean you out,
1066
00:55:52,749 --> 00:55:55,185
but it'll leave you
hollow inside.
1067
00:55:55,251 --> 00:55:56,953
Too bad, sugar puff.
1068
00:55:58,621 --> 00:56:00,523
We could have
been something.
1069
00:56:00,590 --> 00:56:04,227
I was only doing
what I was told to do.
1070
00:56:04,294 --> 00:56:06,696
Like make love to me? Frank!
Like make love to me? Frank!
1071
00:56:08,131 --> 00:56:10,567
That only makes things
easier, princess.
1072
00:56:10,633 --> 00:56:12,302
To think I trusted you.
1073
00:56:12,368 --> 00:56:13,837
I made a big mistake.
1074
00:56:13,903 --> 00:56:16,506
Here.
You take this back.
1075
00:56:16,573 --> 00:56:17,741
Whose is that?
1076
00:56:19,542 --> 00:56:21,478
Doesn't matter.
MAN: Hey, watch it!
1077
00:56:21,544 --> 00:56:23,613
Take care of yourself,
baby.
1078
00:56:25,248 --> 00:56:26,883
By the way...
1079
00:56:26,950 --> 00:56:29,285
I faked every orgasm.
1080
00:56:29,352 --> 00:56:31,387
Oh, funny face.
1081
00:56:31,454 --> 00:56:32,856
( applause )
1082
00:56:32,922 --> 00:56:35,058
And to commemorate
our friendship,
1083
00:56:35,125 --> 00:56:37,393
the city of Los Angeles
1084
00:56:37,460 --> 00:56:40,096
is proud to present
to the royal family
1085
00:56:40,163 --> 00:56:42,432
this revolutionary war musket
1086
00:56:42,499 --> 00:56:45,869
generously donated
by Mr. Vincent Ludwig.
1087
00:56:47,470 --> 00:56:48,738
Ladies and gentlemen,
1088
00:56:48,805 --> 00:56:51,174
her royal highness...
1089
00:56:51,241 --> 00:56:53,676
Queen Elizabeth II.
1090
00:56:57,547 --> 00:57:00,683
( playing fanfare )
1091
00:57:16,533 --> 00:57:18,434
( Elizabeth screams )
1092
00:57:23,439 --> 00:57:24,574
( gasps )
1093
00:57:26,075 --> 00:57:27,510
Get security in here!
1094
00:57:28,945 --> 00:57:31,648
ED:
It's disgusting the way they splash this stuff
1095
00:57:31,714 --> 00:57:33,683
all over the newspapers.
1096
00:57:33,750 --> 00:57:36,419
What is journalism coming to?
1097
00:57:36,486 --> 00:57:38,321
You're laying on top
of the Queen
1098
00:57:38,388 --> 00:57:40,290
with her legs
wrapped around you
1099
00:57:40,356 --> 00:57:41,825
and they call that news.
1100
00:57:41,891 --> 00:57:44,260
They can't kick you
off the force, Frank.
1101
00:57:44,327 --> 00:57:45,595
It's just not fair!
1102
00:57:45,662 --> 00:57:48,531
Now, now, Ed,
life isn't always fair.
1103
00:57:48,598 --> 00:57:51,267
Just think, the next time
I shoot someone,
1104
00:57:51,334 --> 00:57:52,836
I could be arrested.
1105
00:57:53,636 --> 00:57:56,339
Hey... Look at that.
1106
00:57:56,406 --> 00:57:58,508
The missing evidence
in the Kelner case.
1107
00:57:58,575 --> 00:58:01,511
My God, he was innocent.
1108
00:58:01,578 --> 00:58:03,746
He went to the chair
two years ago, Frank.
1109
00:58:03,813 --> 00:58:07,784
Well... What's the use?
1110
00:58:07,851 --> 00:58:10,920
What good are these
damn awards and citations?
1111
00:58:10,987 --> 00:58:13,223
Frank, uh... Twenty years--
Frank, uh... Twenty years--
1112
00:58:13,289 --> 00:58:15,758
Frank, that's not your desk.
1113
00:58:15,825 --> 00:58:17,126
JANE: Frank!
Jane!
1114
00:58:17,193 --> 00:58:19,362
I've been looking
all over for you.
1115
00:58:19,429 --> 00:58:20,597
What are you doing here,
1116
00:58:20,663 --> 00:58:22,298
running another errand
for your boyfriend?
1117
00:58:22,365 --> 00:58:25,134
I tried to call you last night.
I even went by your place.
1118
00:58:25,201 --> 00:58:28,538
Where were you?
I was out walking-- All night.
1119
00:58:28,605 --> 00:58:29,839
Frank, you got to
listen to me.
1120
00:58:29,906 --> 00:58:31,641
I have important
information for you.
1121
00:58:31,708 --> 00:58:33,543
Please believe me.
Vincent Ludwig and I,
1122
00:58:33,610 --> 00:58:35,511
there was never
anything between us.
1123
00:58:35,578 --> 00:58:37,680
He likes East German men.
1124
00:58:37,747 --> 00:58:39,916
And what about you?
1125
00:58:39,983 --> 00:58:41,251
I like cops.
1126
00:58:41,317 --> 00:58:43,620
All right! Hey, hey!
All right! Hey, hey!
1127
00:58:43,686 --> 00:58:45,221
Settle down.
Take it easy.
1128
00:58:45,288 --> 00:58:47,023
What have you got?
1129
00:58:47,090 --> 00:58:49,058
I overheard Ludwig
after the banquet.
1130
00:58:49,125 --> 00:58:51,160
You were right
all along, Frank.
1131
00:58:51,227 --> 00:58:54,030
Ludwig is planning to have
someone assassinate the Queen!
1132
00:58:54,097 --> 00:58:56,232
Where?
At the baseball game.
1133
00:58:56,299 --> 00:58:58,835
The Queen will be there this
afternoon as a guest of Ludwig.
1134
00:58:58,902 --> 00:59:00,103
I'm supposed to be
with them.
1135
00:59:00,169 --> 00:59:01,905
Are you telling us
that Vincent Ludwig
1136
00:59:01,971 --> 00:59:04,707
is going to just shoot the Queen
in front of 60,000 fans?
1137
00:59:04,774 --> 00:59:05,942
No. He said a player's
going to do it,
1138
00:59:06,009 --> 00:59:07,410
during the
7th-inning stretch.
1139
00:59:07,477 --> 00:59:08,611
That game starts
in 20 minutes.
1140
00:59:08,678 --> 00:59:10,413
I better get down there
right away.
1141
00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:11,714
I'll go with you.
1142
00:59:11,781 --> 00:59:13,182
No, it's best you stay
with Ludwig.
1143
00:59:13,249 --> 00:59:15,318
That way, we won't arouse
any suspicion.
1144
00:59:15,385 --> 00:59:16,686
Right.
Okay, let's go.
1145
00:59:16,753 --> 00:59:18,154
Wait! Listen!
1146
00:59:18,221 --> 00:59:20,757
I've gotten you guys
into enough trouble already.
1147
00:59:20,823 --> 00:59:22,792
I don't want you to risk
this for me. I'll go alone.
1148
00:59:22,859 --> 00:59:25,662
No! This is gonna get you
back on the force, Frank,
1149
00:59:25,728 --> 00:59:28,264
and we're all right behind you.
1150
00:59:28,331 --> 00:59:30,500
( officers agreeing )
1151
00:59:30,566 --> 00:59:31,601
Frank...
1152
00:59:31,668 --> 00:59:34,671
I wanted you
to know now...
1153
00:59:34,737 --> 00:59:37,407
I've loved you since
the first day I met you,
1154
00:59:37,473 --> 00:59:39,509
and I'll never stop.
1155
00:59:39,575 --> 00:59:41,644
I'm a very lucky woman.
1156
00:59:42,345 --> 00:59:43,846
So am I.
1157
00:59:44,881 --> 00:59:48,117
Programs!
Get your programs here!
1158
00:59:48,184 --> 00:59:51,487
(<i> ominous theme playing</i> )
1159
00:59:51,554 --> 00:59:54,057
GOWDY:
<i>And a good afternoon</i> <i>to everyone.</i>
1160
00:59:54,123 --> 00:59:55,992
<i>We're coming to you live</i>
<i>from the big A</i>
1161
00:59:56,059 --> 00:59:58,861
<i>Where the California Angels</i>
<i>meet the Seattle Mariners</i>
1162
00:59:58,928 --> 01:00:00,930
<i>in a showdown</i>
<i>for the division league</i>
1163
01:00:00,997 --> 01:00:03,900
<i>in this exciting</i>
<i>American League West race.</i>
1164
01:00:03,967 --> 01:00:05,735
Hello, everybody.
I'm Curt Gowdy,
1165
01:00:05,802 --> 01:00:08,671
along with Jim Palmer,
Tim McCarver,
1166
01:00:08,738 --> 01:00:11,174
Dick Vitale, Mel Allen,
1167
01:00:11,240 --> 01:00:14,143
Dick Enberg,
and Dr. Joyce Brothers
1168
01:00:14,210 --> 01:00:16,913
inviting you to join us for this
all-important ball game.
1169
01:00:16,980 --> 01:00:18,848
And a very
special game it is, Curt.
1170
01:00:18,915 --> 01:00:20,984
As we all know,
this game is being attended
1171
01:00:21,050 --> 01:00:22,819
by Her Majesty
Queen Elizabeth.
1172
01:00:22,885 --> 01:00:25,621
And I'm sure Her Majesty
will enjoy this game, Jim.
1173
01:00:25,688 --> 01:00:28,291
We've got
all the exits covered.
1174
01:00:28,358 --> 01:00:30,693
I ought to go down
and arrest Ludwig right now.
1175
01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:32,595
No, Frank.
Without any evidence,
1176
01:00:32,662 --> 01:00:34,497
we've got to let him
make the first move.
1177
01:00:34,564 --> 01:00:37,367
Besides, the mayor, she'd have
you arrested on the spot.
1178
01:00:37,433 --> 01:00:39,035
You've got to stay
out of sight.
1179
01:00:39,102 --> 01:00:41,237
I've got to get that assassin
before the 7th-inning stretch.
1180
01:00:41,304 --> 01:00:43,806
If Jane is right, it could be
any one of those players.
1181
01:00:43,873 --> 01:00:45,541
I've got to find
a way get down there
1182
01:00:45,608 --> 01:00:46,943
and search those players.
1183
01:00:47,010 --> 01:00:48,544
ANNOUNCER:
<i>Ladies and gentlemen,</i>
1184
01:00:48,611 --> 01:00:50,913
<i>please rise and give</i>
<i>a hearty Los Angeles welcome</i>
1185
01:00:50,980 --> 01:00:53,649
to Her Majesty
Queen Elizabeth II.
1186
01:00:53,716 --> 01:00:57,854
( organ playing
"God Save the Queen" )
1187
01:01:02,492 --> 01:01:04,093
One moment, ma'am.
1188
01:01:04,160 --> 01:01:05,728
Huh?
1189
01:01:06,829 --> 01:01:10,666
Over there.
These seats are taken.
1190
01:01:24,781 --> 01:01:26,649
My dear...
1191
01:01:26,716 --> 01:01:28,484
Is something
bothering you?
1192
01:01:28,551 --> 01:01:29,952
Why, no.
Why do you ask?
1193
01:01:30,019 --> 01:01:34,157
Well, you haven't said a word.
You seem...nervous.
1194
01:01:34,223 --> 01:01:36,559
Well, you know
how important
1195
01:01:36,626 --> 01:01:39,429
this game is
for the Angels.
1196
01:01:39,495 --> 01:01:40,830
Why he is
not here now?
1197
01:01:40,897 --> 01:01:43,132
I do not like being made
to wait for him.
1198
01:01:43,199 --> 01:01:44,967
WOMAN:
Mr. Pallazzo, our head usher
1199
01:01:45,034 --> 01:01:46,269
will be here
in two minutes
1200
01:01:46,335 --> 01:01:47,770
to take you
onto the field.
1201
01:01:47,837 --> 01:01:49,072
Please,
just wait in here.
1202
01:01:49,138 --> 01:01:51,374
He should be here now!
Do you understand?
1203
01:01:51,441 --> 01:01:53,643
Yes, sir, I'll send
him right over.
1204
01:01:53,709 --> 01:01:56,712
I do not wait for him.
He waits for me.
1205
01:02:01,384 --> 01:02:02,752
Yes?
Mr. Pallazzo?
1206
01:02:02,819 --> 01:02:04,353
<i>Si.</i>
I am the head usher.
1207
01:02:04,420 --> 01:02:06,355
Ah! I'm here to--
Ah! I'm here to--
1208
01:02:06,422 --> 01:02:07,824
Excuse me.
1209
01:02:13,529 --> 01:02:15,565
Mr. Pallazzo?
1210
01:02:15,631 --> 01:02:16,599
Yes?
1211
01:02:16,666 --> 01:02:18,534
I'm the head usher.
1212
01:02:18,601 --> 01:02:20,703
One second.
1213
01:02:20,770 --> 01:02:22,171
ANNOUNCER:
<i>Ladies and gentlemen,</i>
1214
01:02:22,238 --> 01:02:24,540
<i>on behalf of</i>
<i>the California Angels</i>
1215
01:02:24,607 --> 01:02:26,409
<i>and the city of Los Angeles</i>
1216
01:02:26,476 --> 01:02:29,345
<i>on the occasion of</i>
<i>Her Majesty's royal visit,</i>
1217
01:02:29,412 --> 01:02:32,615
<i>please welcome internationally</i>
<i>renowned opera star</i>
1218
01:02:32,682 --> 01:02:34,817
<i>Enrico Pallazzo.</i>
1219
01:02:38,121 --> 01:02:41,524
<i>Ladies and gentlemen,</i>
<i>let us honor America</i>
1220
01:02:41,591 --> 01:02:46,896
<i>as Mr. Pallazzo will now sing</i>
<i>our national anthem.</i>
1221
01:02:46,963 --> 01:02:49,165
( chuckles ) ( organ playing )
( chuckles ) ( organ playing )
1222
01:02:51,701 --> 01:02:56,072
( singing off-key ):
♪ Oh, say can you see ♪
1223
01:02:56,139 --> 01:03:01,077
♪ By the dawn's early light ♪
1224
01:03:01,144 --> 01:03:05,548
♪ What so proudly we hailed... ♪
1225
01:03:05,615 --> 01:03:06,949
Frank?
1226
01:03:07,016 --> 01:03:09,652
♪ In the twilight's
Last gleaming ♪
1227
01:03:09,719 --> 01:03:13,956
♪ Whose bright stripes
And broad stars ♪
1228
01:03:14,023 --> 01:03:19,362
♪ In the perilous night ♪
1229
01:03:19,428 --> 01:03:23,533
♪ O'er the ramparts
We watched ♪
1230
01:03:23,599 --> 01:03:29,438
♪ As the da, da, da
Da, da, da ♪
1231
01:03:29,505 --> 01:03:33,743
♪ And the rockets'
Red glare ♪
1232
01:03:33,809 --> 01:03:37,346
♪ Lots of bombs in the air ♪
1233
01:03:37,413 --> 01:03:41,150
♪ Gave proof
Through the night ♪
1234
01:03:41,217 --> 01:03:46,556
♪ That we still had
A flag ♪
1235
01:03:46,622 --> 01:03:52,128
♪ Oh, say does that
Spangled banner wave ♪
1236
01:03:52,195 --> 01:03:57,266
<i>♪ Over all that is free ♪</i> ( grunting )
<i>♪ Over all that is free ♪</i> ( grunting )
1237
01:03:57,333 --> 01:04:01,637
♪ In the home of the land ♪
1238
01:04:01,704 --> 01:04:06,309
♪ And the land of the free ♪
1239
01:04:06,375 --> 01:04:08,177
Get him!
1240
01:04:08,244 --> 01:04:09,212
Hold it!
1241
01:04:09,278 --> 01:04:11,247
And now as the crowd
settles back down,
1242
01:04:11,314 --> 01:04:13,849
we'll wait for the exchange
of lineups
1243
01:04:13,916 --> 01:04:16,018
and the start
of today's ball game.
1244
01:04:23,859 --> 01:04:26,729
Oh, excuse me.
Could you tell me...
1245
01:04:26,796 --> 01:04:28,864
Is this
an official bat?
1246
01:04:31,834 --> 01:04:34,670
Well, the Queen's visit
has brought a sellout crowd.
1247
01:04:34,737 --> 01:04:35,938
Could be a record.
1248
01:04:36,005 --> 01:04:37,640
While the fans
are awaiting first pitch,
1249
01:04:37,707 --> 01:04:40,243
they're being entertained by
the stadium's Angel Vision,
1250
01:04:40,309 --> 01:04:43,279
showing some of those
unusual moments in baseball
1251
01:04:43,346 --> 01:04:44,413
over the years.
1252
01:04:44,480 --> 01:04:46,249
( all exclaiming )
1253
01:05:01,197 --> 01:05:03,099
JANITOR:
Whoops.
1254
01:05:04,634 --> 01:05:06,168
Sorry, fellas.
1255
01:05:32,928 --> 01:05:36,098
Ha-ha-ha!
How about that?
1256
01:05:38,267 --> 01:05:39,702
ANNOUNCER:
<i>Ladies and gentlemen,</i>
1257
01:05:39,769 --> 01:05:43,105
<i>now taking the field--</i>
<i>Your California Angels.</i>
1258
01:05:43,172 --> 01:05:45,107
( crowd cheering )
1259
01:05:51,947 --> 01:05:54,183
<i>For the safety of the players</i>
<i>and yourself,</i>
1260
01:05:54,250 --> 01:05:57,186
<i>we ask that you do not</i>
<i>throw any objects</i>
1261
01:05:57,253 --> 01:05:59,021
<i>in the stands</i>
<i>or on the field.</i>
1262
01:05:59,088 --> 01:06:01,390
<i>We thank you</i>
<i>for your cooperation.</i>
1263
01:06:02,958 --> 01:06:04,293
( spits )
1264
01:06:04,360 --> 01:06:06,228
So as the Angels
take the field,
1265
01:06:06,295 --> 01:06:08,998
we're about ready for
the first-pitch ceremony
1266
01:06:09,065 --> 01:06:10,232
with the Queen of England
1267
01:06:10,299 --> 01:06:13,069
ready to toss out
the first ball.
1268
01:06:13,135 --> 01:06:15,871
( crowd cheers )
1269
01:06:15,938 --> 01:06:18,374
ANNOUNCER:
<i>How about that queen,</i> <i>ladies and gentlemen?</i>
1270
01:06:18,441 --> 01:06:20,476
<i>Let's have</i>
<i>a nice round of applause.</i>
1271
01:06:20,543 --> 01:06:22,912
We're ready for the start
of today's ball game.
1272
01:06:22,978 --> 01:06:25,581
And I'm sure that group of
lovely ladies would agree.
1273
01:06:25,648 --> 01:06:28,250
Well, they ought to.
Those are the players' wives.
1274
01:06:28,317 --> 01:06:29,852
On hand to enjoy the game
with us today.
1275
01:06:29,919 --> 01:06:32,355
The umpires
for today's game--
1276
01:06:32,421 --> 01:06:34,724
At first base, Louis Metz.
1277
01:06:34,790 --> 01:06:36,559
Second base, Dan Zowan.
1278
01:06:36,625 --> 01:06:39,428
Third base, Bob Boone.
What do you say, Cummings?
1279
01:06:39,495 --> 01:06:41,997
Are we going to do this today?
Do what? Oh.
1280
01:06:42,064 --> 01:06:44,533
Uh, play ball!
1281
01:06:44,600 --> 01:06:46,335
( crowd cheers )
1282
01:06:47,436 --> 01:06:48,704
Frank?
1283
01:06:48,771 --> 01:06:50,639
Al, it's Frank.
1284
01:06:55,444 --> 01:06:57,113
And this game's under way.
1285
01:06:57,179 --> 01:07:00,182
Dave Spiwack ready to face
Jay Johnstone.
1286
01:07:00,850 --> 01:07:02,718
( spits )
1287
01:07:19,034 --> 01:07:21,137
Nothing to report
so far, chief.
1288
01:07:21,203 --> 01:07:22,905
Don't worry, Al.
1289
01:07:22,972 --> 01:07:25,174
If one of those players
is the killer,
1290
01:07:25,241 --> 01:07:26,642
Frank is going
to find him,
1291
01:07:26,709 --> 01:07:28,744
even if he has to search
every one of them.
1292
01:07:28,811 --> 01:07:32,314
ANNOUNCER:
Jay Johnstone! Johnstone.
1293
01:07:32,381 --> 01:07:34,984
Good luck, pal.
Are you all right?
1294
01:07:35,050 --> 01:07:37,019
Let's see if that
uniform's on straight.
1295
01:07:37,086 --> 01:07:38,988
Looking good back here.
1296
01:07:39,054 --> 01:07:40,556
Let's see now, the shirt.
1297
01:07:40,623 --> 01:07:42,792
Well, you should
take a large, I bet.
1298
01:07:42,858 --> 01:07:44,693
Little tight in the crotch.
1299
01:07:44,760 --> 01:07:46,328
Doesn't swing. All right.
1300
01:07:46,395 --> 01:07:47,596
All set?
1301
01:07:49,965 --> 01:07:52,234
Okay. Play ball.
1302
01:08:02,545 --> 01:08:04,146
Batter up.
1303
01:08:21,163 --> 01:08:22,198
Strike?
1304
01:08:22,264 --> 01:08:24,533
( crowd cheering )
1305
01:08:26,502 --> 01:08:28,704
Strike one!
1306
01:08:41,617 --> 01:08:45,855
Strike 2!
1307
01:08:45,921 --> 01:08:47,556
( crowd cheering )
1308
01:09:00,903 --> 01:09:06,942
Strike 3!
1309
01:09:07,009 --> 01:09:10,312
Hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey!
1310
01:09:13,182 --> 01:09:14,750
Ooh!
1311
01:09:14,817 --> 01:09:16,552
Whee!
1312
01:09:21,023 --> 01:09:22,525
Hey!
1313
01:09:23,792 --> 01:09:26,929
( Randy Newman's
"I Love L.A." playing )
1314
01:09:39,441 --> 01:09:41,577
<i>♪ Rolling down ♪</i>
1315
01:09:41,644 --> 01:09:43,913
Strike!
1316
01:09:43,979 --> 01:09:46,849
<i>♪ A big, nasty redhead</i>
<i>At my side ♪</i>
1317
01:09:46,916 --> 01:09:49,685
<i>♪ Santa Ana winds</i>
<i>Blowing hot from the north ♪</i>
1318
01:09:49,752 --> 01:09:51,787
<i>♪ We was born to ride... ♪</i>
1319
01:09:55,324 --> 01:09:56,425
You're clean.
1320
01:09:56,492 --> 01:09:57,927
<i>♪ Put down the top ♪</i>
1321
01:09:57,993 --> 01:10:00,162
<i>♪ Crank up</i>
<i>The Beach Boys, baby... ♪</i>
1322
01:10:00,229 --> 01:10:01,630
You're out!
1323
01:10:01,697 --> 01:10:03,165
<i>♪ We're gonna ride it ♪</i>
1324
01:10:03,232 --> 01:10:05,768
<i>♪ Till we just can't</i>
<i>Ride it no more ♪</i>
1325
01:10:08,971 --> 01:10:12,474
<i>♪ From the South Bay</i>
<i>To the Valley ♪</i>
1326
01:10:12,541 --> 01:10:16,078
<i>♪ From the west side</i>
<i>To the east side ♪</i>
1327
01:10:16,145 --> 01:10:19,481
<i>♪ Everybody's very happy ♪</i>
1328
01:10:19,548 --> 01:10:22,818
<i>♪ 'Cause the sun</i>
<i>Is shinin' all the time ♪</i>
1329
01:10:22,885 --> 01:10:26,956
<i>♪ Looks like</i>
<i>Another perfect day ♪</i>
1330
01:10:27,022 --> 01:10:28,290
<i>♪ I love L.A. ♪</i>
1331
01:10:30,192 --> 01:10:31,961
<i>♪ We love it ♪</i>
1332
01:10:49,712 --> 01:10:51,614
<i>♪ Look at that mountain ♪</i>
1333
01:10:51,680 --> 01:10:53,115
<i>♪ Look at those trees ♪</i>
1334
01:10:53,182 --> 01:10:55,384
<i>♪ Look at that bum</i>
<i>Over there, man ♪</i>
1335
01:10:55,451 --> 01:10:57,286
<i>♪ He's down on his knees ♪</i>
1336
01:10:57,353 --> 01:10:58,754
<i>♪ Look at these women ♪</i>
1337
01:10:58,821 --> 01:11:01,490
<i>♪ Ain't nothin' like them</i>
<i>Nowhere ♪</i>
1338
01:11:04,326 --> 01:11:06,462
<i>♪ Century Boulevard ♪</i>
1339
01:11:06,528 --> 01:11:08,364
<i>♪ We love it ♪</i>
1340
01:11:08,430 --> 01:11:10,399
<i>♪ Victory Boulevard ♪</i>
1341
01:11:10,466 --> 01:11:12,067
<i>♪ We love it ♪</i>
1342
01:11:12,134 --> 01:11:14,069
<i>♪ Santa Monica Boulevard ♪</i>
1343
01:11:14,136 --> 01:11:15,404
<i>♪ We love it ♪</i>
1344
01:11:15,471 --> 01:11:16,739
<i>♪ 6th Street ♪</i>
1345
01:11:16,805 --> 01:11:20,609
<i>♪ We love it, we love it</i>
<i>We love it ♪</i>
1346
01:11:20,676 --> 01:11:23,312
<i>♪ We love L.A. ♪</i>
1347
01:11:41,563 --> 01:11:43,732
<i>♪ I love L.A. ♪</i>
1348
01:11:46,101 --> 01:11:48,370
<i>♪ We love it! ♪</i>
1349
01:11:48,437 --> 01:11:49,905
Have you
found him yet?
1350
01:11:49,972 --> 01:11:51,940
No, and I've searched
almost everybody.
1351
01:11:52,007 --> 01:11:52,941
Yeah, I saw that.
1352
01:11:53,008 --> 01:11:54,476
There's only
one more out before
1353
01:11:54,543 --> 01:11:56,145
the 7th-inning stretch,
Frank.
1354
01:11:56,211 --> 01:11:57,546
I'm gonna have my men
on the alert
1355
01:11:57,613 --> 01:11:59,281
but you're gonna
have to stall them.
1356
01:11:59,348 --> 01:12:01,350
Don't let them
get that third out.
1357
01:12:01,417 --> 01:12:03,519
Right, Ed.
1358
01:12:04,753 --> 01:12:06,689
ANNOUNCER:
<i>The mariner shortstop--</i>
1359
01:12:06,755 --> 01:12:09,925
Number 4,
Armando Crishonee.
1360
01:12:09,992 --> 01:12:10,926
Crishonee.
1361
01:12:17,966 --> 01:12:19,268
Ball.
1362
01:12:19,334 --> 01:12:21,103
Ball?
1363
01:12:21,170 --> 01:12:22,871
( crowd booing )
1364
01:12:31,280 --> 01:12:32,281
Ball.
1365
01:12:32,347 --> 01:12:34,750
( crowd booing )
1366
01:12:45,194 --> 01:12:47,062
What in the world?
Get out!
1367
01:12:48,163 --> 01:12:50,399
Catch it!
Catch it!
1368
01:12:53,302 --> 01:12:54,503
Aah!
1369
01:12:54,570 --> 01:12:56,872
Fair ball!
Go! Go! Go!
1370
01:12:56,939 --> 01:12:58,874
He's going home!
1371
01:12:58,941 --> 01:13:01,043
Block the plate!
1372
01:13:01,110 --> 01:13:02,077
Safe.
1373
01:13:02,144 --> 01:13:03,545
Safe!
What do you mean?!
1374
01:13:03,612 --> 01:13:05,247
I don't believe it!
1375
01:13:05,314 --> 01:13:07,349
( crowd booing )
1376
01:13:07,416 --> 01:13:09,752
Hey, second base!
Hop to!
1377
01:13:10,786 --> 01:13:12,454
There's the throw
by the catcher.
1378
01:13:12,521 --> 01:13:14,389
They've got
Crishonee hung up
1379
01:13:14,456 --> 01:13:15,758
between first and second.
1380
01:13:15,824 --> 01:13:18,827
What the do you think
you're doing?
1381
01:13:18,894 --> 01:13:19,828
What?!
1382
01:13:19,895 --> 01:13:22,631
Hey, you're not
supposed to do that.
1383
01:13:22,698 --> 01:13:25,768
Hey, wait a minute!
Stop that right now!
1384
01:13:25,834 --> 01:13:28,504
Give me that ball!
You hear me?
1385
01:13:30,005 --> 01:13:31,774
I'll get you!
1386
01:13:31,840 --> 01:13:33,809
I know this is
hard to believe,
1387
01:13:33,876 --> 01:13:35,444
but apparently
the umpires
1388
01:13:35,511 --> 01:13:37,679
have got Crishonee
in a rundown.
1389
01:13:40,883 --> 01:13:42,484
Safe! Safe?
Safe! Safe?
1390
01:13:42,551 --> 01:13:44,086
How about that?
1391
01:13:44,153 --> 01:13:45,420
He was out!
1392
01:13:45,487 --> 01:13:46,522
Safe!
Out!
1393
01:13:46,588 --> 01:13:47,956
He was safe!
1394
01:13:48,023 --> 01:13:49,324
He was out!
Safe!
1395
01:13:49,391 --> 01:13:50,826
Now there's a sight
I've never seen.
1396
01:13:50,893 --> 01:13:53,562
Safe! Safe! Safe!
Out! Out! Out!
1397
01:13:53,629 --> 01:13:55,564
Safe! Safe! Safe! What are you doing?
Safe! Safe! Safe! What are you doing?
1398
01:13:55,631 --> 01:13:57,266
( umpires continue arguing )
1399
01:13:57,332 --> 01:13:58,667
Out!
He was safe!
1400
01:13:58,734 --> 01:14:00,269
He never tagged him
with the ball!
1401
01:14:00,335 --> 01:14:02,805
You idiot, he was out when
he ran out of the baseline!
1402
01:14:02,871 --> 01:14:05,440
All right, I've had enough!
You're out of here!
1403
01:14:05,507 --> 01:14:06,675
What do you mean?!
1404
01:14:06,742 --> 01:14:08,577
You can't throw
an umpire out of the game!
1405
01:14:08,644 --> 01:14:11,346
All right!
You're out of here!
1406
01:14:11,413 --> 01:14:13,482
Hey! Hold it a minute.
1407
01:14:13,549 --> 01:14:15,450
Even the guy
running the scoreboard up there
1408
01:14:15,517 --> 01:14:16,485
says he was out.
1409
01:14:16,552 --> 01:14:18,120
He's way up
on the mezzanine!
1410
01:14:19,888 --> 01:14:22,958
Oh, my God.
It's the third out.
1411
01:14:23,025 --> 01:14:24,226
( beeps )
1412
01:14:24,293 --> 01:14:25,861
( beeping )
1413
01:14:25,928 --> 01:14:29,064
(<i> ominous theme playing</i> )
1414
01:14:38,907 --> 01:14:40,576
I must kill...
1415
01:14:40,642 --> 01:14:42,010
the Queen.
1416
01:14:46,081 --> 01:14:48,183
I must kill...
1417
01:14:48,250 --> 01:14:49,852
the Queen.
1418
01:14:51,253 --> 01:14:52,354
JANE:
Frank!
1419
01:14:52,421 --> 01:14:54,723
Frank,
it's the right fielder!
1420
01:14:54,790 --> 01:14:57,292
You're the blindest umpire
I've ever seen!
1421
01:14:57,359 --> 01:14:59,428
What's the matter
with you?
1422
01:14:59,494 --> 01:15:01,697
Whoa. You're the boss.
1423
01:15:01,763 --> 01:15:03,866
He was safe.
You're right.
1424
01:15:03,932 --> 01:15:06,602
Now we're going to take you
for a little walk.
1425
01:15:06,668 --> 01:15:07,903
To think I respected you.
1426
01:15:07,970 --> 01:15:09,671
How could you do something
so vicious?
1427
01:15:09,738 --> 01:15:11,373
It was easy, my dear.
1428
01:15:11,440 --> 01:15:14,543
You forget, I spent two years
as a building contractor.
1429
01:15:14,610 --> 01:15:16,778
Now let's go...
quietly.
1430
01:15:20,082 --> 01:15:21,583
Aha!
1431
01:15:21,650 --> 01:15:23,919
Come on, let's get him!
Reggie, man!
1432
01:15:23,986 --> 01:15:26,255
Get the ump!
1433
01:15:26,321 --> 01:15:28,090
Hold it!
1434
01:15:28,156 --> 01:15:30,893
( all chattering )
1435
01:15:34,930 --> 01:15:37,199
MAN:
Kick him in the balls!
1436
01:15:54,716 --> 01:15:56,618
PLAYER:
Aah! My foot!
1437
01:16:10,299 --> 01:16:12,267
I must kill...
1438
01:16:12,334 --> 01:16:14,069
the Queen.
( gasps )
1439
01:16:15,404 --> 01:16:16,772
Whoops.
1440
01:16:18,774 --> 01:16:19,808
FAN 1:
Look!
1441
01:16:19,875 --> 01:16:21,476
FAN 2: Where?
FAN 3: Up there!
1442
01:16:21,543 --> 01:16:25,013
( screaming )
1443
01:16:25,080 --> 01:16:26,214
Watch out!
1444
01:16:28,250 --> 01:16:30,485
( groaning )
1445
01:16:30,552 --> 01:16:32,521
The umpire--
1446
01:16:32,587 --> 01:16:35,157
He saved the Queen's life.
1447
01:16:35,223 --> 01:16:37,793
That's not the umpire,
Your Honor.
1448
01:16:41,763 --> 01:16:43,799
Hey, it's Enrico Pallazzo!
1449
01:16:43,865 --> 01:16:46,501
( crowd cheering )
1450
01:16:46,568 --> 01:16:48,704
( chanting ):
<i>Enrico Pallazzo!</i>
1451
01:16:48,770 --> 01:16:51,106
<i>Enrico Pallazzo!</i>
<i>Enrico Pallazzo!</i>
1452
01:16:51,173 --> 01:16:52,140
Drebin.
1453
01:16:52,207 --> 01:16:54,076
Frank! Frank!
1454
01:16:54,776 --> 01:16:57,245
Frank! Frank! Help!
1455
01:16:57,312 --> 01:17:01,116
Frank! Frank!
1456
01:17:01,183 --> 01:17:04,052
Help! Frank!
1457
01:17:04,119 --> 01:17:06,855
Help! Frank!
1458
01:17:15,731 --> 01:17:17,666
Hold it, Ludwig!
JANE: Frank.
1459
01:17:17,733 --> 01:17:20,068
Stay where you are, Drebin.
1460
01:17:20,135 --> 01:17:21,536
He's got a gun.
1461
01:17:21,603 --> 01:17:22,671
I know.
1462
01:17:22,738 --> 01:17:24,706
You ruined my life,
Drebin.
1463
01:17:24,773 --> 01:17:26,508
Now I'm going to ruin yours.
1464
01:17:26,575 --> 01:17:27,576
Leave the girl alone.
1465
01:17:27,642 --> 01:17:29,578
I am. I'm going
to kill you.
1466
01:17:29,644 --> 01:17:31,046
I see.
1467
01:17:31,113 --> 01:17:32,981
( coin clinks in payphone )
1468
01:17:33,048 --> 01:17:37,352
Two can play at that game.
1469
01:17:38,186 --> 01:17:39,755
Aah!
1470
01:17:40,489 --> 01:17:41,957
Aah!
1471
01:17:43,792 --> 01:17:45,093
You killed him.
1472
01:17:45,160 --> 01:17:46,828
No, no.
He's just stunned.
1473
01:17:46,895 --> 01:17:48,997
He'll be all right
in a couple of minutes.
1474
01:17:49,064 --> 01:17:50,599
( groans )
1475
01:17:50,665 --> 01:17:53,201
( screaming )
1476
01:17:53,268 --> 01:17:55,170
( Ludwig thuds )
1477
01:17:55,237 --> 01:17:56,671
Well.
1478
01:18:00,509 --> 01:18:02,411
( thumping )
1479
01:18:05,414 --> 01:18:07,682
( squelches )
1480
01:18:07,749 --> 01:18:12,120
( band playing "Louie, Louie" )
1481
01:18:21,663 --> 01:18:24,099
Oh, Frank...
1482
01:18:24,166 --> 01:18:26,535
It's horrible.
1483
01:18:26,601 --> 01:18:28,670
That's so horrible.
1484
01:18:28,737 --> 01:18:30,705
I know, Ed.
1485
01:18:30,772 --> 01:18:33,208
My father went
the same way.
1486
01:18:36,745 --> 01:18:38,647
( beeps )
1487
01:18:38,713 --> 01:18:40,916
( beeping )
1488
01:18:40,982 --> 01:18:44,119
(<i> ominous theme playing</i> )
1489
01:18:49,324 --> 01:18:51,393
I must kill...
1490
01:18:51,460 --> 01:18:53,495
Frank Drebin.
1491
01:18:53,562 --> 01:18:55,230
I must kill...
1492
01:18:55,297 --> 01:18:56,832
Frank Drebin.
1493
01:18:56,898 --> 01:18:59,101
No, no! Don't shoot!
1494
01:19:00,302 --> 01:19:01,803
Jane...
1495
01:19:02,771 --> 01:19:05,006
It's me...
1496
01:19:06,541 --> 01:19:07,876
<i>Funny face.</i>
1497
01:19:07,943 --> 01:19:10,846
JANE:
<i>I must kill Frank Drebin.</i>
1498
01:19:10,912 --> 01:19:12,380
Hey, look!
Up there!
1499
01:19:12,447 --> 01:19:14,116
FRANK:
<i>But you love Frank Drebin...</i>
1500
01:19:14,182 --> 01:19:17,586
<i>And Frank Drebin loves you.</i>
1501
01:19:17,652 --> 01:19:20,555
<i>Jane, listen to me,</i>
<i>if you don't love me,</i>
1502
01:19:20,622 --> 01:19:23,191
then you might as well
pull that trigger because...
1503
01:19:23,258 --> 01:19:24,926
Without you,
1504
01:19:24,993 --> 01:19:27,896
I wouldn't want
to live, anyway.
1505
01:19:27,963 --> 01:19:30,232
I finally found someone
I can love--
1506
01:19:31,032 --> 01:19:33,735
Good, clean love...
1507
01:19:33,802 --> 01:19:35,537
Without utensils.
1508
01:19:35,604 --> 01:19:39,107
I must kill Frank Drebin.
1509
01:19:39,174 --> 01:19:41,877
It's a topsy-turvy world,
Jane.
1510
01:19:41,943 --> 01:19:43,712
And maybe the problems
of two people
1511
01:19:43,778 --> 01:19:45,780
don't amount
to a hill of beans, but...
1512
01:19:45,847 --> 01:19:47,883
This is our hill,
1513
01:19:47,949 --> 01:19:50,352
and these are our beans.
1514
01:19:51,453 --> 01:19:52,821
Jane, since I've met you,
1515
01:19:52,888 --> 01:19:54,923
<i>I noticed things I never knew</i>
<i>were there before--</i>
1516
01:19:54,990 --> 01:19:56,958
<i>Birds singing,</i>
1517
01:19:57,025 --> 01:20:00,295
<i>dew glistening</i>
<i>on a newly formed leaf,</i>
1518
01:20:00,362 --> 01:20:02,664
<i>stoplights...</i>
1519
01:20:02,731 --> 01:20:04,399
I must kill--
1520
01:20:04,466 --> 01:20:07,536
Jane...
This morning...
1521
01:20:07,602 --> 01:20:10,539
I bought something for you.
1522
01:20:10,605 --> 01:20:12,274
It's not very much...
1523
01:20:12,340 --> 01:20:13,608
But pretty good
1524
01:20:13,675 --> 01:20:16,912
for an honest
policeman's salary.
1525
01:20:16,978 --> 01:20:19,181
It's an engagement ring.
1526
01:20:19,247 --> 01:20:21,383
I would have given it
to you earlier, but...
1527
01:20:21,449 --> 01:20:25,020
<i>I wanted to wait</i>
<i>until we were alone.</i>
1528
01:20:29,191 --> 01:20:30,492
I...
1529
01:20:30,559 --> 01:20:32,194
I love you, Jane.
1530
01:20:37,566 --> 01:20:39,201
Oh, Frank.
1531
01:20:39,267 --> 01:20:42,003
(<i> tender theme playing</i> )
1532
01:20:47,409 --> 01:20:49,177
( sniffling )
1533
01:20:51,413 --> 01:20:53,148
I'm sorry.
1534
01:21:04,426 --> 01:21:06,828
I'm sorry that I yelled
at you yesterday.
1535
01:21:06,895 --> 01:21:09,197
I really am.
1536
01:21:10,765 --> 01:21:14,636
Drebin, I was
wrong about you.
1537
01:21:14,703 --> 01:21:15,937
This city,
1538
01:21:16,004 --> 01:21:17,706
and I guess
the whole world,
1539
01:21:17,772 --> 01:21:20,508
owes you a debt of gratitude. Thank you, mayor.
owes you a debt of gratitude. Thank you, mayor.
1540
01:21:20,575 --> 01:21:24,045
And Monday morning, we want
you back at police squad,
1541
01:21:24,112 --> 01:21:27,082
with a promotion
to captain, of course.
1542
01:21:27,148 --> 01:21:29,684
Mayor--
But don't thank me.
1543
01:21:29,751 --> 01:21:32,754
There's someone else here
who wants to thank you.
1544
01:21:32,821 --> 01:21:33,955
Nordberg!
1545
01:21:34,022 --> 01:21:35,056
Hiya, buddy.
1546
01:21:35,123 --> 01:21:36,992
Doc says I should be
on my feet
1547
01:21:37,058 --> 01:21:38,426
and as good as new
in a week.
1548
01:21:38,493 --> 01:21:42,797
And back on the force. Nordberg, that's wonderful!
And back on the force. Nordberg, that's wonderful!
1549
01:21:42,864 --> 01:21:44,466
Whoa!
Oh, Frank...
1550
01:21:44,532 --> 01:21:46,701
Everyone should have
a friend like you.
1551
01:21:46,768 --> 01:21:48,737
Whoa!
1552
01:21:48,803 --> 01:21:50,338
( Nordberg thuds )
1553
01:21:50,405 --> 01:21:53,708
( Herman's Hermits' "I'm into
Something Good" playing )
1554
01:21:53,775 --> 01:21:57,112
<i>♪ Woke up this morning</i>
<i>Feelin' fine ♪</i>
1555
01:21:57,178 --> 01:22:00,582
<i>♪ Had something special</i>
<i>On my mind ♪</i>
1556
01:22:00,649 --> 01:22:05,153
<i>♪ Last night, I met a new girl</i>
<i>In the neighborhood ♪</i>
1557
01:22:05,220 --> 01:22:07,422
<i>♪ Oh, yeah ♪</i>
1558
01:22:07,489 --> 01:22:11,159
<i>♪ Something tells me</i>
<i>I'm into something good ♪</i>
1559
01:22:11,226 --> 01:22:14,396
<i>♪ Something tells me</i>
<i>I'm into something ♪</i>
1560
01:22:14,462 --> 01:22:18,199
<i>♪ She's the kind of girl</i>
<i>Who's not too shy ♪</i>
1561
01:22:18,266 --> 01:22:21,469
<i>♪ And I can tell</i>
<i>I'm her kind of guy ♪</i>
1562
01:22:21,536 --> 01:22:23,805
<i>♪ 'Cause she danced</i>
<i>Close to me ♪</i>
1563
01:22:23,872 --> 01:22:26,341
<i>♪ Like I hoped she would ♪</i> <i>♪ She danced with me ♪</i>
<i>♪ Like I hoped she would ♪</i> <i>♪ She danced with me ♪</i>
1564
01:22:26,408 --> 01:22:28,376
<i>♪ Like I hoped she would ♪</i>
<i>♪ Oh, yeah ♪</i>
1565
01:22:28,443 --> 01:22:32,180
<i>♪ Something tells me</i>
<i>I'm into something good ♪</i>
1566
01:22:32,247 --> 01:22:35,483
<i>♪ Something tells me</i>
<i>I'm into something ♪</i>
1567
01:22:35,550 --> 01:22:38,553
<i>♪ We only danced</i>
<i>For a minute or two ♪</i>
1568
01:22:38,620 --> 01:22:43,091
<i>♪ And then she stuck close</i>
<i>To me the whole night through ♪</i>
1569
01:22:43,158 --> 01:22:46,261
<i>♪ Can I be the one in love? ♪</i>
1570
01:22:46,328 --> 01:22:49,230
<i>♪ She's everything</i>
<i>I've been dreaming of ♪</i>
1571
01:22:49,297 --> 01:22:52,233
<i>♪ She's everything</i>
<i>I've been dreaming of ♪</i>
1572
01:22:52,300 --> 01:22:55,503
<i>♪ I walked her home</i>
<i>And she held my hand ♪</i>
1573
01:22:55,570 --> 01:22:58,907
<i>♪ I knew it wouldn't be</i>
<i>Just a one-night stand ♪</i>
1574
01:22:58,973 --> 01:23:01,576
<i>♪ So I asked</i>
<i>To see her next week ♪</i>
1575
01:23:01,643 --> 01:23:04,212
<i>♪ And she told me I could ♪</i>
<i>♪ I asked to see her ♪</i>
1576
01:23:04,279 --> 01:23:06,081
<i>♪ And she told me I could ♪</i> <i>♪ Oh, yeah ♪</i>
<i>♪ And she told me I could ♪</i> <i>♪ Oh, yeah ♪</i>
1577
01:23:06,147 --> 01:23:09,751
<i>♪ Something tells me</i>
<i>I'm into something good ♪</i>
1578
01:23:09,818 --> 01:23:13,388
<i>♪ Something tells me</i>
<i>I'm into something ♪</i>
1579
01:23:13,455 --> 01:23:16,925
<i>♪ Something tells me</i>
<i>I'm into something ♪</i>
1580
01:23:16,991 --> 01:23:20,729
<i>♪ Ahh ♪</i>
1581
01:23:34,476 --> 01:23:37,746
<i>♪ I walked her home</i>
<i>And she held my hand ♪</i>
1582
01:23:37,812 --> 01:23:40,915
<i>♪ I knew it wouldn't be</i>
<i>Just a one-night stand ♪</i>
1583
01:23:40,982 --> 01:23:43,585
<i>♪ So I asked</i>
<i>To see her next week ♪</i>
1584
01:23:43,651 --> 01:23:46,254
<i>♪ And she told me I could ♪</i>
<i>♪ I asked to see her ♪</i>
1585
01:23:46,321 --> 01:23:48,356
<i>♪ And she told me I could ♪</i> <i>♪ Oh, yeah ♪</i>
<i>♪ And she told me I could ♪</i> <i>♪ Oh, yeah ♪</i>
1586
01:23:48,423 --> 01:23:51,826
<i>♪ Something tells me</i>
<i>I'm into something good ♪</i>
1587
01:23:51,893 --> 01:23:55,630
<i>♪ Something tells me</i>
<i>I'm into something ♪</i>
1588
01:23:55,697 --> 01:23:59,200
<i>♪ Ahh ♪</i>
1589
01:24:12,747 --> 01:24:16,050
<i>♪ I walked her home</i>
<i>And she held my hand ♪</i>
1590
01:24:16,117 --> 01:24:19,587
<i>♪ I knew it wouldn't be</i>
<i>Just a one-night stand ♪</i>
1591
01:24:19,654 --> 01:24:21,990
<i>♪ So I asked</i>
<i>To see her next week ♪</i>
1592
01:24:22,056 --> 01:24:24,659
<i>♪ And she told me I could ♪</i> <i>♪ I asked to see her ♪</i>
<i>♪ And she told me I could ♪</i> <i>♪ I asked to see her ♪</i>
1593
01:24:24,726 --> 01:24:26,561
<i>♪ And she told me I could ♪</i>
<i>♪ Oh, yeah ♪</i>
1594
01:24:26,628 --> 01:24:30,498
<i>♪ Something tells me</i>
<i>I'm into something good ♪</i>
1595
01:24:30,565 --> 01:24:32,667
<i>♪ Something tells me</i>
<i>I'm into something ♪</i>
1596
01:24:32,734 --> 01:24:35,236
<i>♪ I'm into something good ♪</i>
1597
01:24:35,303 --> 01:24:36,838
<i>♪ Oh, yeah ♪</i>
1598
01:24:36,905 --> 01:24:38,973
<i>♪ Something good ♪</i>
<i>♪ Something tells me ♪</i>
1599
01:24:39,040 --> 01:24:41,976
<i>♪ I'm into something good ♪</i>
1600
01:24:42,043 --> 01:24:43,344
<i>♪ Something good ♪</i>
1601
01:24:43,411 --> 01:24:44,345
<i>♪ Something-- ♪</i>
1602
01:24:44,412 --> 01:24:48,550
(<i> dramatic theme plays</i> )
Reference in New Issue Copy Permalink